River.

Chapter 108: Sir Handsome

Cassidy's P.O.V.

After Xander's funeral, we all went back to my parents' place, with the exception of Max and Madison, and started packing as we had a plane to catch at 10:30 that night.

I told Riley and Madison to go ahead and pack everything that they wanted to take with them for the next 6 months so that they could just fly back to Minnesota with us and we could all leave together.

They were both still pretty shaken up about Xander's death and I completely understood why.

They both were still hardly even talking to anyone.

Dad hadn't said a word all day.

Mom had been crying since we left the funeral.

Max zoned out during the funeral and refused to even get up to look at Xander's body.

River had a panic attack right in the middle of it and hurried out. He was still blaming himself for everything.

Danny, who had been strong since the night Xander got killed, finally broke down at Xander's casket.

And I still couldn't accept the fact that my brother was dead.

As soon as I walked back inside my parents' house, everything felt different.

This didn't feel like the house I grew up in. The house I spent 18 years living in. The house I called home.

This didn't feel like home anymore.

After helping Danny comfort mom I went upstairs to my room to start packing.

I walked in and saw River lying in my bed.

"Stop blaming yourself." I said as I laid next to him.

"Easier said than done." He replied.

"River you're a good guy. You had nothing to do with this. I need you to realize that."

"I need you to realize that I'm stubborn. Its gonna take a lot to convince me that this isn't my fault."

"Well I need your help..."

"With?"

"I just need your help getting through this." I replied as a single tear fell down my cheek. "This is hard. The hardest thing I've ever had to go through."

He rolled over onto his side and pulled me closer to him so that my back was against his chest.

"I've tried to stay strong... For Riley.... But this hurts so much."

"Just because you're crying doesn't mean you're not strong."

"I'm not strong though. I'm only pretending to be. Out of hope that soon I won't have to pretend."

He kissed the back of my head and held me tighter.

I felt helpless.

"Once upon a time there was this guy who lived life with little knowledge of what it actually meant to live..." He began. "This guy, Sir Handsome, got married at a young age to a woman that he'd been in love with for years. He and his wife had a daughter whom he loved more than himself and he promised to always protect them and keep them safe. Well, one tragic night, his daughter got taken away from him and a month later his then ex-wife committed suicide. Sir handsome felt as though his life was over and that he had failed at being a husband and a father because he failed to do the one thing that he promised: to protect them. To cope with the loss of his wife and daughter he turned to alcohol and became the biggest douchebag on the planet. He got alcohol poisoning more than a handful of times yet he couldn't stop drinking. 6 months later he met a girl at a party and had what he thought would be just a one night stand.... Until she called him a month later telling him that she was pregnant. She talked him into marrying her right before the baby was born and they ended up both being happy. Sir Handsome thought that his life was finally good again. He lied and told himself that his life was perfect. Everyone else thought that too. Everyone thought he was just the luckiest guy around. Women loved him. Men envied him. When in reality, he was a wreck. He had trust issues, commitment issues, and was emotionally unstable. But one day, his whole life changed. He met a princess and was blown away by her beauty even though she had her hair up in a messy bun and was just wearing a gray hoodie with Nike sweats and a pair of black vans. She was mesmerizing. He called her into his office pretending that she was in trouble when he really just wanted to see her beauty up close. He tried to flirt his way into her pants but she slapped the hell out of him and left. Sir Handsome didn't get any sleep that night because the princess stayed on his mind. He was hooked on her from that moment on because she gave him the one thing he'd never experienced within his entire life: rejection. So a few days later he called her into his office again and apologized for the things of which he'd said a few nights before when he went with his cousin to some girl's house. But the princess wanted nothing to do with him. She hated him. Eventually though she gave him a chance. Sir handsome fell in love with the princess the night he first held her in his arms but he didn't tell her until 4 months later. He ended up divorcing his wife to be with the princess and a little over a year later, they had kids and Sir Handsome proposed. Now the princess means everything to Sir Handsome. She helps him when he's feeling weak. She, for some reason, stays with him when he fucks up, she isn't afraid to put him in his place, and she puts up with him even though he's a major asshole. The fact that she's still with Sir Handsome to this very day proves just how strong she is. He's put her through a lot yet she's still holding on. She's the strongest woman he's ever met. Her strength gives him strength. And her sadness makes him weak. Sir Handsome never thought that anyone would be able to affect him the way the princess did. Now she's his life. She keeps him going. He'd go through hell and back just to keep her happy. And he'd put his life on the line without the slightest bit of hesitation to protect her. He doesn't deserve her and he wonders how he got so lucky to even get a chance with her in the first place. And now Sir Handsome couldn't imagine his life without her. "

I was drowning in tears.

Of course they were tears of happiness though.

"Am I allowed to know who Sir Handsome is?" I teased.

"Yea." He retorted. "Its Max."

"River!!!!"