Right now I'm trying not to burst into tears in my math class. It's getting harder and harder for me to go to school, to go places where I'm still seen as Kat. It was going so well, the past couple of days. I went to the councilor and she understood and explained to my parents how I should be seeing a therapist and that gender and sexuality were two completely separate things, and how when people starts to feel this it tends not to go away. She also praised me for being so upfront about my problems and how patient and understanding I was being with my parents, little does she know that I hide over half of it and I was only being upfront and patient because it's getting to hard to go on as a girl and the only way I can get what I want is by holding my tongue and giving slight pressure on my parents, to much and they'll break and I'll get shit. But she also praised my parents for being so understanding and supporting so that I did feel safe to tell them this, in reality I took a calculated risk cuz throwing me out, beating me, and forcing me to be somebody goes against their beliefs, when they want to change me they do it with slight comments, subliminal messages, and looks of disapproval. Despite knowing this it didn't stop me from doubting if I was making my parents out to be the villains that there not, buy my mother opens her mouth and I begin to wonder once more. Anyway the whole time
// hey so this is an incomplete journal from a while ago that i decided to just post now cuz i actually spent a little bit of time to write it and it felt like a waste to just delete it so sorry bout it being incomplete.
YOU ARE READING
Confusion, FtM journal
RandomI cut my hair short cuz I wanted it to be like a guys. But everyone still told me I looked pretty. I bought a binder only for cosplay. I ended up wearing it every day. I am a boy. So why does everyone see a girl...
