Confusion, FtM journal

5 January 2015

I had a damn good day today. Like fuck was it a good day. I don't want to say that it was great because I felt normal for once, that could be further from the truth, but I felt like the avrage guy who hops in his friends car and just hangs out afterschool. Which is essential what I did. I'm now library aid 7th period and so is Waylon so the whole time we just hung out and talked about videogames then he offered to drive me homed. So while waiting for the parking lot to clear out Chris (I think thats his name, I'm shit w/ names and I don't really see him around much) walks up and is getting a ride too. So aparently his mom give Waylon some decent cash for driving him and so she said that Waylon could go out and get his playstation plus card w/ this card she gave him and for us to go get food. So Chris said guys night out, or more like afternoon, so we stoped by my house and droped off my shit and I grabbed my x-mass cash and we all headed out to gamestop. So they helped me pick out some bomb games and I ended up getting a ps vita as well. So after that we drove over to subway got sandwitches and soda and hung out outside just chilling eating our food. Do you know how good it felt? It was amazing, I practically didn't even notice the improper pronouns, they counted me as one of the guys and that was all that mattered. That's all I have ever wanted, just to be one of the guys, I got my wish today. I feel happy, satisfied, something that I've been struggling with lately. I guess thats why I haven't posted, I've been getting my highs and lows again and I just don't know how to deal I guess.  Anyway, that doesn't matter, I have batman arkham asylum and city for the ps3, a new vita with borderlands 2 on it, Waylon loaning me far cry 4 tomorrow, and an xbox one coming in the mail tomorrow, as well as my sister going out to buy me halo the masterchief collection. Shit from parents is bad, but I'm to wraped up in being a consumerist asshole and hanging out with people to really care. I feel happy, nobody can take that from me right now, nobody. Things are looking up, and I'm going to keep them that way, screw anyone who gets in my way. My name is Kage, and today I felt truly 100% happy for once in a long time.