Yo, damn I've been on a roll with the posts. Gebus I've just been... well bich mom left agian but is only gonna be gone for a couple days and is bringing back bratty sister too, gods. Anyway I'm chillin in Helen's room with her and Diana as the fangiling over 5sos, I can't deny there pretty good. Oh gods Diana is wearing Helen's glasses and Heln fliped over and there telling me that their eachother. And now Helen is trying to get me to take smarties as I throw them back at her and she filmed it... fun :P. Anywho so my amazing blue hair dye is already freakin washed out cuz we when swimming and well you can guess what happened, its now a greeny blue brown actualy not that bad but I'm gonna have to redo it. So ya in the car Helen's little sister asked me if Diana liked me and then akwardness followed, which later followed with Helen asking us if we were in some sort of a secret relationship. I kinda wish, but no we both denied it, but ya it's just not gonna happen. No offence but it just cant, A) she has a boyfriend B) I like her better as a friend C) I don't think I would be able to stay in a relationship for longer than a couple weeks D) she likes other people... I think...? E) I'm probly going to collage after next year. So ya thats that. Oh there's more Ilsa drama and I'm trying to talk her down agian. I just wanna be their for her and I wish she would stop fighting me. Lets see.......... I don't know I just kinda wish my life would just uncomplicate *sigh*. Oh one thing that's been bugging me is when I wander around wattpad reading other FtM guys journals just about every one is 14 and it makes me so freaking jelouse. Just fljaojefnfmjcfoaipfjhnvmcmozhemfcmvnzlmcehm, FUCK! I didn't find out till I was freakin 15/16 and these other guys are getting therapy and starting hormone blockers and T and just... Fuck, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! I know I shoun't be complaining, I mean I could live in freakin Russia or have parents who kick me out of the house cuz of it, just I just cant help it at times it just gets so hard sometimes. I just, how can things be going so well but so shittly at the same exact fucking time, godsdamnit. *Sigh* I should stop being the loner in the corner typing and go and hang out with my friends. Alright then Kage out :P
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Confusion, FtM journal
RandomI cut my hair short cuz I wanted it to be like a guys. But everyone still told me I looked pretty. I bought a binder only for cosplay. I ended up wearing it every day. I am a boy. So why does everyone see a girl...
