Confusion, FtM journal

November 5, 2014

I seem to be unable to remember to actually post things after I write them so sorry bout posts arriving late. I've been trying to deepen my voice lately without sounding like an idiot, I think it's working a bit, I hope anyway. Anywho I got put into a skirt the other day a YAC, then proceeded to walk around Monterey with Ilsa in it. It was fun because it was all done as a joke and I wasn't the only guy at YAC who got put into a skirt, it wasn't like when my mom forces me to dress up for family events. Speaking of the wicked bitch of the west, I was mending things then I blew up at her again, not as bad but still lots of yelling. And surprise surprise according to her she isn't doing anything and I'm just looking to pick a fight. Well thats that. Me and my sis hung out today in the park with dibs, doughnuts, and Arizona ice tea then came home and play fought like we used to when we were kids. It was nice, it's been nice, how close we've been growing. I feel like I have a bit of the family I lost back, in fact it's getting harder for her to recognize me as a girl and she's sticking up for me more. It's nice, knowing I have some family who's got my back at leas some of the time, around her friends though is a different story. Anyway I was texting both Dylan and Dom today, it was pretty nice. Dom and I talked about school and he said he would come to the YAC art show again. And Dylan's been responding to my texts more which is great, it still sucks cuz school is consuming his life but at least now we get to have a conversation now and again. For a while I was getting worried it was a one sided thing, as I often do, because it's always me texting him and talking about whats going on with him, but as usual he always show's me he's got my back. I know to most people it wouldn't make sense, staying in a friendship that seems so one sided and takes so much work to uphold, but it would take something really bad for me to stop being friends with Dylan, I got his back and in the end he's got mine, thats all I need. Anyway I'm off to correct the one remaining F in my grades, enjoy the photo of me in a skirt :P