An Outlet: Part 2

27 October, 2017.

Vacation Day 11.

I am not ready to go back to college.

There are a lot of things still pending and I'm not sure I'll be able to complete them. I'm so frustrated right now. I'm so scared. This vacation gave me a time away from all the madness that is a hectic college life and now it's going to start again.

I think my days of sadness are coming back. I don't want them to come back. I want stay happy and relaxed. I don't want to relapse into that horrible state of mind that I was in a couple of months ago.

Paula Ma'am posted something on our WhatsApp group and I have no will power to open it and chat. One of the reasons is that the junior secretary is still on the group, despite calling the club 'boring' and quitting it via an Instagram Story. Honestly, his decision to leave the club didn't come as a surprise. But what hurt me more is that he would do it on such a public platform. It was extremely disrespectful of him.

It shouldn't affect me so much but for some reason it does. I cannot bear to fail and I take criticisms very personally.

Anyways, in the evening, at around 5PM, Alex and I went to the police station for our passport verification. It was pretty nearby so we walked it up. I thought the police station would look a bit more menacing than the one I saw. I have no frame of reference so maybe this is how all police stations look.

Upon entering the main police station  office, there was an old computer to the left and a smaller office on the right. The interiors probably contained lock ups.

For some reason it looked like Alex was a bit scared. Maybe he was just trying to prove that he wasn't scared but the wary way in which he spoke to the police officers completely threw him off.

One of the officers tried searching for our document but apparently it hadn't reached the police station yet. That bitch. When she came home, she quite haughtily ordered me to come to the police station the very next day. And she is the one who failed to do things on time.

Anyways, the police officer got out his tab and a WiFi dongle and proceeded with the procedure. He asked for our address, took our photograph, signature, documents (some of which we had to print a copy of from a stationary in the nearby shady af area) and we were done.

Alex then went back home but I had other plans. Everyday I would remind myself to get my ass out of the house and buy a conditioner but that never happened. My hair was officially unwashed for about 2 weeks. So I decided to take a long walk to the supermarket and finally buy that thing. It was 6:15PM by then and during this time of the year, it gets dark pretty fast.

I love to walk in the dark and today was no exception. Ofcourse I had to walk quite a lot but I didn't mind. I hadn't been out of the house since a couple of days and this was a welcome change. I love looking at people and analysing their lives.

Notice how I used 'analyse' instead of 'judge'.

Just kidding, I really do like to wonder about other people's livelihood. And looking at the lighting because even if Diwali is over, the lighting can stay.

I went to the supermarket, bought the conditioner. I also bought an apricot scrub (because I've been using mom's scrub without her notice), a pack of jelly and a few sweet biscuits. I like grocery shopping. Probably a bit more than apparel shopping.

When I came back home, it was 7:30PM.

My dad came back home and immediately noticed there was something off with me. How does he get to know?! Everytime?!

I kind of don't like to share my problems with my parents. Most of my problems are because of my own mistake or ignorance or overthinking or procrastination. So if I tell them what's wrong, they will criticise me and I do not need much more stress than I already have.

By the way, I'm meeting my school friends tomorrow and I'm pretty excited!