An Outlet: Part 2

15 July, 2017.

Today was honestly a drag.

I think I've taken over Kristen's position to become Ms. Paula's PA. She called me to college today was well.

I had company tho. Even Paul agreed to help Ms.Paula. So that was good.

I reached college by 9, the decided time, and realised that Ms. Paula had still not arrived. Not wanting to waste any time, I started researching for one of my academic assignments.

Ms. Paula arrived and so did Paul. Our goal for today was to finally start working on our blog. But that had to wait for a while. She gave the two of us a mamoth task of finding ways wherein we could start a movement. A literary movement.

Have I mentioned that I'm not an idea person? We spent three hours looking for inspiration but we found none. It's fucking difficult to come up with ideas that are not cheesy as shit.

Ms. Paula had to go for an emergency meeting and she finally, FINALLY asked us to work on editing a few reports.
I know I am not a good writer but honestly, these reports needed a lot of work. Most of the sentences were fragments. And I know Kristen was not able take over each and every report so this is what the reports turned out to be (Kristen founded and headed the Report Making Team last year).

It was hilarious watching Paul being annoyed by each and every mistake in the report. We spent a good hour editing the first report (I know. Effeciency is in our blood) after which we decided to break for lunch. We went to the main canteen where Paul tried the 'Pizza in a Cube' thing that had opened up recently.

I did not feel that awkward sitting with just him. Let me give you a background about my relation with guys.

Even though I have a brother, I have never really been that comfortable talking to a guy. All my close friends are girls. And I don't think I go out of my way to talk to guys. Instead, I avoid them to a certain extent. This is why I've never really hung out with guys, especially not one on one.

Having given this history, I knew that an awkward conversation was imperative. But I think lunch went pretty good. I came with a few topics, he came up with a few and even though there were a few pauses, overall, it wasn't that awkward.

When we came back to work on those reports, the computer had gotten locked. Ms. Paula was still busy in the meeting and none of the interns knew the password to that damn computer. We waited for about half an hour after which one of the interns advised us to go home since the meeting would go on for a long time.

I came home feeling kind of defeated. I wanted today to be productive because I took the pains of going to college on a Saturday. I have been the exact opposite.

I've recognised a pattern here. June, July, August and September have been the most despondent months every year.

I'm broken by my lack of self confidence.