An Outlet: Part 2

12 August, 2017.

I feel that Kristen is becoming more closer to Paul and I'm not entirely sure I like it.

See, I've become quite close to Kristen in this past year and a half. I trust her the most out of all the friends that I have made in my college. And to some extent, I feel even Kristen also shared the same.

I have started talking to Paul this year because of our club and he's a nice and fun guy to hang around with. Kristen and Paul know each longer than I have known him because they were in the same student body last year.

I knew that Kristen was compatible with Paul (friendship wise) and that they must have hit it off quite well but I don't want to this to happen by keeping me in the sidelines.

I am not the jealous kind, I'm really not. But when I can clearly see the disparity between the way she behaves when only I'm around and when Paul is around, it irks me. She seems to be in the best mood everytime she's with Paul, never stops laughing/smiling but then when he leaves, she gets all tired and whiny. I really don't like it. It makes me feel worthless. I have been called invisible and I absolutely hate it. These past couple of years have taught me that I have to stand up for myself and speak out if I feel left out or taken for granted.

I will definitely have a chat with Kristen about it. If she clearly tells me that she doesn't want me to be around, I'll let her be. But if ready to accept her mistake and realise that even I'm around when they talk, things will be fine.

I really hope it's the latter.