maybe i'm amazed (fifty shades)

Chapter Twenty Eight

Anastasia's Point Of View:

I walk into the main room of the Escala looking for my husband. "Christian," I murmur his head snaps up when I walk in and he quickly sets down his tumbler of scotch on the table and gets up. He rushes over to me wrapping his arms around me.

"You okay baby?" He asks me. He rubs his arms around me and kisses me lightly on the head.

"I'm sorry Christian," I murmur to him.

"Ana, Dr.Flynn is waiting in the library," He says to me. I look at him intensely, my eyes searching his. His worry shows on his face and it breaks my heart to see how much pain he is in.

"Okay," I murmur. Christian and I walk silently to the library his hand never leaving my back. Christian holds the door open for me.

"I love you, I can't be in there with your okay?" He asks me. I nod my head and kiss him lightly on the lips before walking in to face Flynn.

"Hey Ana," He says with a smile as he stands to greet me.

"Hi Doctor Flynn," I say as I shake his hand and sit in my favorite chair.

"So Christian called me and told me what happened but I want to hear your side of the story," He says with a smile. This time he has no booklet or pen and come to think of it he sits in normal slacks and polo.

"I went shopping with Mia and Kate. At first, I could barely do up the dress and once I did get it up I couldn't breathe. When I turned around I noticed--" I let out a sigh knowing I overreacted.

"Noticed what Ana?" He asks me.

"I noticed a pot belly," I murmur. I look down to my knotted fingers in my lap and not up at Flynn.

"A pot belly? Ana thats your baby growing," He tells me. My baby growing?

"I never thought of it like that," I murmur.

"Ana, considering your body weight, it is amazing that the baby is gaining weight and being able to grow with how little you eat. Think about how much you eat now, which is barely enough for just you, how is that going to nourish your baby?" He asks me.

"I don't know. I didn't think about it like that," I admit to him.

"I need you say for me that ' I am gaining weight for me and my baby. And it's OK," he says. I can't loose blip and on the track, I am going I just might.

"I am gaining weight for me and my baby. And it's okay," I say aloud. The pressure feeling in the pit of my stomach dissolves at the idea of a little Christian growing inside me.

"Christian will love me no matter what," He continues. This time I have the courage to look up to him.

"Christian will love me no matter what," I say aloud, looking him in the eyes. He gives me a reassuring smile and reaches out to grab my fingers tugging them on his own.

"And Ana, you tried on a size 0 and you're a size 2. That difference is why it felt so tight. You haven't gained weight in any part of your body beside your stomach. I know it's stressful but miscarriage is extremely common for anorexia and I'm concerned that if you don't fix the path that you are on, I fear you'll have a miscarriage." Flynn admits. I close my eyes and nod my head. The idea of losing blip makes me feel physically ill. The god-awful things it would do to Christian?

"I know," I murmur.

"I know you love your baby Ana, so please, if you can't get better for you. Get better for the baby and Christian," Tells me. I nod my head-- too scared that if I say anything a sob will escape too. "Than I think that we are done here, I'm going to go discuss something with Christian if that's alright with you."

"Yes, that's fine," I murmur. My voice sounds raspy and dry.

"Get well Ana. I'll talk to you later," Flynn says. Patting me lightly on the back before walking out of the library and shutting the door. I stuff my face in my hands and cry. The sobs echo through the library and bounce off to me. What am I doing? Hiding away from my husband? Killing myself slowly. I get up after a few minutes when I can feel the vibration of the elevator through the walls. I get up and walk out to find my husband.

"Hey baby, how was your session," Christian asks me when he watches me walk into the living room. I barrel into his arms and stick my head in the crook of his neck, he wraps his hands around my back and pushes me against his body. My belly hits his first and for once I'm okay with it. Knowing that it's our baby calms me.

"I'm so sorry Christian," I tell him through the sputtering tears.

"Repeat to me what Flynn told you to say," Christian asks me. Pulling me back from his chest so that he looks me in his eyes.

"I am gaining weight for me and my baby and it's okay. Christian will love me no matter what," I murmur. Tear still liter my face as he looks at me once more.

"I will love you no matter what," He tells me. This time is different because for once I can actually tell her does mean it.

"I love you so much," I tell him. He rubs his hands on my arms and pulls me tightly to his chest and kisses my head lightly.

"I love you too," Christian says. We stay, wrapped in each others arms as we sway against the afternoon glow from the windows.

"Lunch?" He asks me. I nod my head and we walk over to the sandwiches that Gail must have prepared before heading back to her quarters. We sit side by side eating the sandwiches in silence. I finish mine before Christian which seems to pleasantly surprise her. He tries desperately to hide his smirk that plays on his face. Once he finishes I get up and load the now empty plates in the dishwasher.

He pulls me back into his arms when I walk around the island. I stand between his legs. He wraps his arms around my back and crosses them at the curve of my back. "Do you want to go see the new house, it's almost done," He asks me. I give him a nod excited to see my master bedroom design.

"Yes!" I squeal. His tightens her arms around me before grabbing my hand and leading me to the R8. I grab my phone on the way out no bothering with my purse. Christian begins to drive and we sit in silence as we zoom past all the people. Christians hands play on my knee, tapping and stroking my back legging.

"We should brainstorm names," Christian says once he gets on the highway.

"Not yet," I tell him. He looks over my confused quickly before his eyes reverting to the road.

"Why not? Whats wrong?" He asks me.

"I don't want to pick any names, in case I-I ya know," I murmur. My hands cross in front of my chest as I lean back against the plush leather seat.

"Flynn said he is worried about my weight and the baby," I admit to him. His eyes snap back to me and his scowls.

"No Ana don't think like that. My mother is hopeful, you can't be worried about that your entire pregnancy. We will get through it I promise," He tells him. We sit in silence the rest of the car ride, neither of us saying anything until we get to the new house. He pulls into the house and helps me out of the car. We walk into the new house, the floors are refurbished and the kitchen is now brighter with newly repurposed cupboards. There is a new huge white fireplace against the opposite wall. The light from the meadow dances along the glass of the chandler over the dining table. Overall the house is beautiful. A fantastic mixture of Christian and I.

"Oh my god I love it," I squeal, I walk over to the stone fireplace, running my fingers along the polished mantel. Christian walks up behind me, my fingers dancing across my newly protuding stomach.

"I cannot wait to cristen every single room in this house," He whispers in my ear. His beard tickles against my jaw and the tingling sension fights it's way up my body.

"Why wait," I murmur. He gives me a smirk and picks me up and hurls me over to the island. He sets me down on the newly polished countertops and Christian is quick to make work of my body.

"You are sexy pregnant," He murmurs. Pushing my sweater up above my stomach as he kisses down it. I know for sure I want to get better for him, for my baby-- for our baby.