Lumabas si Blessing at kami nalang dalawa ni Edniel ang naiwan.
Anong pag-uusapan natin?" sabi ko pero nagulat nalang ako nang bigla niya akong sampalin at tumulo ang ang kanyang luha.
Napahawak ako sa aking pisngi dahil masakit ang pagkakasampal ni Edniel sa akin! Tumulo ang luha ko. Bakit ako sinampal ni Edniel? Bakit niya nagagawang sampalin ang kaibigan niya? Oo nga at may kasalanan akong nagawa but do I deserve that slap? Maybe.
"Alam mo bang galit na galit ako sa'yo ngayon?! I am very disappointed with you, Queeny! I am very disappointed with you, Bat Com!" sigaw niya habang umiiyak.
"Hanggang kailan mo kami lolokohin, Queeny?! Hanggang sa grumaduate tayo? Ang selfish mo! I sacrifice my relationship with Xax kahit na mahal ko siya because of our responsibilities pero eto ikaw na bat com namin na dapat role model namin ang unang lumabag sa mga rules!"
"So all this time, all this time, kayo pala ni Cyrus? Do you know how hard for me this situation is? I am torn between being your friend and being an adjutant! Masaya ako na finally kayo but at the same time, disappointed ako dahil ang unfair mo, Queeny. Ang unfair mo. Sarili mo lang ang iniisip mo. Self-satisfaction."
"Alam ko na mali ako, Edniel and I am sorry for that." hindi ko na napigilan ang sumagot sa kanya. "I know I am being unfair but I am not selfish. I am doing all my responsibilities! Tinago namin ni Cyrus ang aming relasyon to avoid possible issues! I don't want to sacrifice my dreams at the same time I don't want to sacrifice the man I love. Sa ating dalawa, ikaw ang unfair. You are being unfair to Xax."
Natigilan siya. Bubuka sana ang kanyang bibig pero sinara niya ulit ito.
"You are selfish because hindi mo alam na may nasasaktan ka na pala. You are making him think that you can easily give up on him na it's okay not to prioritize him because you know that he will always be there at your side. He will always support you even if he is hurting just to make you happy. Who is now selfish between the two of us? Hindi sa lahat ng oras kaya kang hintayin ng isang tao, Edniel. Napapagod din ang mga tao sa kahihintay." sabi ko.
"Tama ka. Oo, I am selfish because I chose my dreams over the man I love. Will I be successful dahil sa pagmamahal ko kay Xax? Matutupad ko ba ang mga pangarap ko dahil sa pagmamahal lang? In life, you need to sacrifice, Queeny. Hindi sa lahat ng oras ay makukuha mo ang gusto mo. That's the reality."
"Do you still want to continue your relationshiop with Cyrus kahit na mapatalsik siya as the Student Council President? Do you want to be the reason of his downfall?" natigilan ako dahil sa kanyang sinabi.
"This issue is concealed but what will happen if malaman ng buong school ang issue na ito? Do you know its effect to Cyrus? He is an honor student, Queeny and extra curricular has a big point you know that! Cyrus will surely go down! Tapos ngayon sabihin mo sa akin kung sino ang mas selfish sa ating dalawa?"
"If you are going to continue your relationship with him, Cyrus will fall down and how about us? You will leave us behind? Sino ang mas selfish ha, Queeny? I am telling you this because I am your friend. I am just helping you and Cyrus."
"Do me a favor, break up with Cyrus. Think about it. I know you are intelligent, Queeny." aniya tsaka ako tinalikuran.
Napatulala ako dahil sa sinabi ni Edniel. Sunod-sunod na tumulo ang luha ko dahil sinampal ako sa katotohanan na tama nga ang lahat nang sinabi ni Edniel. Cyrus will fall down because of me at ayaw kong mangyari 'yon. Bakit ba kasi umabot pa kami sa ganitong sitwasyon? Sino ba kasi ang gumawa ng bwisit na rule na 'yon! I know how Cyrus loves being the Student Council President. I also love being the Batallion Commander and I don't want to disappoint sir Mond even more. I know how he is surely disappointed with me. I know how my co-officers are disappointed with me. Hindi ko pa kayang harapin sila pero kailangan. I need to talk to them.
Lumabas ako ng clinic. Paglabas ko ay naabutan ko si Tori na nakatayo sa may puno. Nang makita niya ako ay pinagcross niya ang kanyang mga braso at tinaasan ako ng kilay.
"I knew it. How disappointing of you, Queeny. I thought na ang adjutant ang makakasira sa ating CAT Officers pero tignan mo nga naman at ang Bat Com pa talaga?"
Tinignan ko lang siya at lalampasan na sana dahil wala akong ganang makipagtalo sa kanya nang muli siyang magsalita.
"For the first time in history may lumabag sa batas and guess who? The SC President and our beloved Bat Com!"
"Do you know how furious, sir Mond is? And oh, we talked about your suspension if incase you will continue your relationship with Cyrus. Sino kaya ang papalit sa'yo?"
Nilingon ko siya at naabutan ko ang nakakainis niyang ngiti. Akala mo naman maganda. I know how she wanted to be a Bat Com o Adjutant man lang. Ang mga taong kagaya niya ay hindi marunong makontento. Tori is very plastic. Gusto niya siya lang ang palaging angat.
"Let's see Tori if I will be suspended. And if incase na 'yon nga ang magiging decision ni sir Mond, I will make sure that my position will go to the most deserving person and I am sorry to tell you this but you are not deserving to become a Bat Com, Tori. Hindi mo nga deserve ang maging Major, Bat Com pa kaya?" sabi ko tsaka ko siya tinalikuran ulit. Nakakainis!
"You and Cyrus will go down, Queeny! Tandaan mo 'yan!" sigaw niya pero hindi ko na siya nilingon.
Nakapagdesisyon na ako. I need to talk to sir Mond.
***
Dear Sarcastic Dwarf,
My decision will surely hurt the both of us but it is for the best. I am doing this for you, Cyrus. I am doing this because I love you. Loving someone means sacrificing your happiness. You are my happiness Cyrus pero kung ako man lang magiging dahilan sa pagbagsak mo, huwag nalang. I don't want to be the hindrance of your success in life. I know you will hate me for doing this but I need to do this. Masakit din sa akin ang decision na ito. Sobrang sakit. I just want you to know that I love you so much, Cyrus Jem Sandoval. I love you. I love you. I love you! You are the best thing that ever happned to me.
And I am sorry because I've already made my my decision.
I am breaking up on you, Cyrus.
Kakayanin ko bang sabihin ito sa'yo? Ano kaya ang magiging reaksyon mo? Shit! Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kayang makita kang nasasaktan. Pero kailangan kong kayanin. . . kailangan kong tiisin ang sakit.
Sobrang nasasaktan,
Queeny.
