My Man Crush | Jinkook ✔️

Twenty

Jin's Pov:

"Areum, sweetie?" I called out as soon as I got into our flat.

"Yes, appa," she said, jumping up from the couch with a smile on her face. The smile that brings me calmness, but pains my heart at times. She reminded me so much of her father that I often have to remind myself she is not him.

"Did uncle Yoongi leave already?" I had Yoongi pick her up from school today because I wasn't able to. He told me he couldn't stay back with her, but she could've gone with him. I didn't want her out too late, so I told him to leave her at home. Areum was smart for her age. She was three soon turning four, but super advance, more advanced than I had given her credit for.

She jumped off the couch and ran to me. Dropping my bag on the floor and picking her up into my arms immediately. "He did, but gave me cookies and juice and chips and fruits and chicken and..."

"Breathe Areum, breathe. Why did Yoongi give you so much food?" Was he trying to kill my child? I swear this is why he shouldn't be allowed on babysitting duty. She always got over on him. Hoseok was still better, being a teacher made him have some backbone.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know appa. I asked him for it, and he said yes. He said too much food is never enough for Areum." She said, smiling. Of course, he would say that.

"I see. Well, appa don't want Areum eating so much sweet things, okay. Now, are you going to listen to appa or uncle Yoon?"

She wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a kiss on the cheek, "of course you appa. Silly question." She then started laughing, which made me laugh. "Appa loves his baby very much. You know that, right?" I told her.

"Yes. I told my friend that too. I met him in the park." She said but then quickly release my neck and covered her mouth.

"What park and which friend?" I immediately got concerned.

"Appa promise me you won't be mad?" She said, giving me a pout. Nope, not going to work. It's what she did whenever she knew she would get in trouble.

"No, I won't Areum. Now, what park and what friend?" I ask her sternly.

She lowers her head, "our park and he live next door. He's a nice appa. Areum was wrong. I went outside after uncle Yoon Yoon left and I sorry. Please don't be mad at Areum. I won't do it again, I promise. I was just bored. I miss Kai, appa. He used to play with me, now I have no one." She started crying. How can I scold her now when she says something like this?

I pulled her onto my chest and hug her tightly. "I know baby, I know. Appa misses him a bunch too. I'm sorry he had to leave us early." I kept patting her back as she cried herself into having a hiccup. It was hard for us. Areum had a twin brother, Kai.

Unfortunately, my sweet prince died of neuroblastoma a year ago. He had been born with it. Such rare cancer, but my baby had been one of the unfortunate few to have been diagnosed with it. We thought he would be able to beat it. I was convinced he was going to, but it didn't work out that way. Burying a child, I can tell you is just about the hardest thing a parent can ever do. I think if Areum were not in my life, I would not have been able to push forward. I struggle every day, but Areum gives me the strength to continue.

It's not like I had their father in their life to lean on. He has been missing for four years. All I had for him was the letter he left me that night. He was nothing but a sperm donor. I remember after finding out I was pregnant, I wanted to abort them both, but then my dad asked me, "why should the kids suffer because of you and Jungkook's fuck up." he was right. At the time, I argued with him. I couldn't believe he would say something like that to his son, but he was right. I had wanted Jungkook, I asked for a lot of what I got. Jungkook never came looking for me, I did. I pushed myself onto him.

I feel so stupid when I look back all the time. I was so dumb. The signs were all there. Jungkook never wanted me. I was the only one to ever say, "I love you." I am thankful to him, though because although he scared me from dating or being in a relationship with anyone, he gave me two precious angels. Who was my motivation for wanting more for myself. I took online classes right after high school and just propelled forward.

Everything I did and continues to do is for my kids, now Areum. I know she worries a lot. She asks about her father a lot, but I keep telling her he is a sperm donor. Maybe I should've told her he died, that would've probably been more accurate, but a lie as I knew Jeon Group and their CEO was doing very well.