My Man Crush | Jinkook ✔️

EP: Seventy-Five

Seokjin's Pov:

"I am so sorry, baby. Appa is so sorry." I kneeled on the ground and placed my hands on the grave of my son. Jungkook was standing next to me as I had been in this position for over twenty minutes now.

I had finally made it to see my baby. It pained my heart to look at the tiny grave he was buried in. This is the one pain I know I will never be able to get over. I pray and wish that I will never have to experience something like this again.

"I love you so much, Kai. Appa, Areum, and Daddy love you a whole lot. Appa is pregnant now, and you are going to have three more siblings. Your dad and I found out last week that you are gaining two younger brothers and a sister. Your sister Areum is so excited. She misses you, though. I want you to know that no one can ever take your place in my heart, and I love you so much. I am going to come back often to visit you, your dad and I."

I so wish I could hold him into my arms and shower him with kisses. Even though a lot of things were going on right in my life, this part of my life remained empty. I knew I could never get him back, and when Jungkook and I found out we were having two boys, I felt as though that was heavens way of bringing me back my son, but no one could take his place. Kai is Kai.

Jungkook lifted me into his arms and hugged me tightly. I was now seven months pregnant. I had hesitated a lot before coming to see Kai. Thanks to Jungkook determination to keep his promise, he would take me here; he got me out today. It was hard facing this, but he said it wasn't healthy for me to stay away and that my baby must want to see me too. At the thought of that, I mustered up the courage to come.

"Sometimes, I wonder if there was more that I could have done. Were there options that I missed."

"Babe, don't say that. I am sure you did all that you could have done. Kai knows that, too, and I am sure he loves you a whole lot. If he were here, he would tell you the same thing."

"You think so?"

"I know so, baby." Jungkook kissed my forehead and stared into my eyes. "I am sorry I wasn't there."

"Please don't. You are going to make me cry. It's okay, and I am sure he loves you now for coming to see him every month." I knew Jungkook suffered a lot when it came to Kai, and that's probably a hole I will never be able to fix in his heart. Both of us struggled when it came to our son, but I have always felt that he struggled more than I did. At least I knew what Kai was like; he knew nothing and had no memories to remember his son by.

I hope one day, this pain will be healed by the birth of our three little ones in the next two months.

Jungkook was highly protective of me during my pregnancy thus far. He treated me as though I was a disabled person. He didn't even allow me to shower myself. I had no issues with my pregnancy, yet it made me feel as though I did.

I was shockingly health and was able to move around still and do whatever I wanted, but Jungkook thought otherwise and continuously worried and stressed himself out for no reason.

One day he came home from work and I was playing ball with Areum outside. He freaked out so much that he deflated the ball and threw it in the garbage. Poor Areum ended up crying, so he had to buy her a new ball and told her she could only play with it with him or wait for the babies to come to play with me.

I had the doctor tell him I am doing fine, but he yelled at the doctor and told him if anything happens to the babies, he is going to lose his license to practice.

I tried to confide in Yoongi and request he talks to Jungkook, but apparently, he was doing the same to Hoseok, and therefore he took Jungkook's side.

Both of them think pregnancy is a sickness, which is crazy. Jungkook didn't even want to have sex when my stomach started getting bigger because he believes he would hurt the babies, yet when I began using my toys, he gets mad and says I am cheating on him.

Now when we have sex, he takes his time and holds back a lot. I find it hilarious when I watch him, but I try my best not to annoy him.

Throughout my pregnancy, thus far, he has shown me why he is the perfect one for me. He might be a little crazy, but that's why I love him as much as I do.

He takes care of Areum, our three unborn babies and me, I don't think there is anything else I could ask for.