My Man Crush | Jinkook ✔️

Forty-Three

Listen to the song above. 

Jin's Pov:

"Jin-"

"Jungkook I listened to you, now I want you to go."

"But-"

"Jungkook, please....for once please...listen." I couldn't get my words out properly, I hated him so much. Who was he to think he could just come back into my life like this. This isn't fair, and it's not right.

"I'm sorry." He said and got up out of my sofa and walked out of the house.

As soon as he was gone, I dug around for my phone and called Hoseok. He picked up on the fourth ring, "Hos-e-o-k....p-please...." I cried on the phone. I needed my best friend here with me.

"I am on my way."

My mind was all over the place, why is this my story. Why did he have to return? I was doing good without him. Why did he have to come back and cause another storm in my heart? I pulled my knees to my chest and bawled my eyes out.

*******

An hour later, my doorbell rang, dragging myself off the sofa, I answered the door.

"What happened? Is Areum okay? Jin, sweetie, why are you crying?" Hoseok questions with concern as he pulled me into his arms.

"I hate him." I cried

He steps into the house and closes the door behind him, "Hate who?"

"J-jungkook!"

Hoseok face turns from concern to anger, "what did that fucker do now?"

"EVERYTHING & NOTHING!" I drop myself to the floor as I screamed out. Hoseok crouches down in front of me, "Jin, you are scaring me, what did Jungkook do?"

"H-he......I hate him." How do I explain the pain that was in my heart? The sadness, hurt, emptiness, how do I tell it all without seeming like an idiot.

"I know you hate him Jin, but what's wrong, what happened today, did he do something?"

"H-he apologized."

"O-okay, did he say something wrong in his apology?"

"Y-yes, h-he l-love...me."

"O-oh"

"Exactly! How can he love me after doing so much crap to me? How can he have the nerve to say that to me after everything he has put me through. Am I a toy to him? Gosh, I hate him so much! Why out of everyone in this world it had to be him, why!!"

"Jin do you really hate him?"

"Of course I do. Look at all he has put me through!"

"Doesn't mean you hate him. It probably is expected that you should hate him. I mean, I dislike him, but that's me. You, on the other hand, Jungkook was your everything at one point. The happiest I have ever seen you weren't even with your kids, but with Jungkook. That man could do no wrong in your eyes when we were younger, so if you hate him now because of what he did, I can understand as well as if you still love him and this is why you are truly upset, I can understand that too as the heart is capable of feeling many different types of emotion."

I looked up at Hobi with tears in my eyes, "B-but I am supposed to hate him. He left me. Kai died."

"Baby, you are supposed to feel and do what you want. No guidelines or rule book say you can't continue to love him. Unless you are reading one written by my husband." He chuckled a bit.

"Why I am so foolish? Why can't my heart love anyone else but him?"

"I don't know. The heart is silly. I guess you finally admit it, there is no hope for Taehyung, I guess." Hobi said as he sits next to me.

"I am not getting back with Jungkook."

"B-but, you love him, and he loves you."

"I love him, Hoseok. I am not sure about him loving me. It's Jungkook we are talking about here. I am just upset with myself that I haven't been able to move forward. Taehyung has been around since Jungkook left. I know his feelings for me are real, but my heart doesn't move for him. No matter what he does, I don't ever get the same feeling I get when Jungkook walks into a room. If I commit to Taehyung, I would merely be using him. I wouldn't have anything to give him because even my own heart doesn't reside with me. I will continue living as I have been living. Who knows maybe someone else will come along and I will be able to get over Jungkook. Until then, I will remain single."

"And what happens if Jungkook wants to get back together?" Hoseok questions

"He can go fuck himself." I sighed and got my pathetic self off the floor.

"I don't get you sometimes, you know that."

"I don't get me either, so it's fine."

"So you wouldn't get back together with him?"

"Hoseok before I can ever even consider giving that man a chance no matter how much my heart bleeds for him, he would have to walk to the moon and back. The last time I laid myself legs wide and open for him. He ain't work for shit. My dumbass gave him everything, heart, body, mind, and soul, it's the reason why I can't fucking function without him now. Never again!"

******

A/N: Patience is required to advance to the next chapters. Assuming things will have you like Jungkook. Now, I will take my leave and go update a book with no drama. Jin needs to just take Areum and move to Paris and let her become a ballerina, and that's my two cent.