Cad's POV
Pina-excuse ako ngayon ni Camille sa school so hindi nako mag klaklase. She said she wants to spend this whole day with me so hindi na ako kumontra pa.
Yes, Camille is here with me, and I am so happy knowing now that she's back. I do missed her so much.
But why do I get this feeling? I mean, I don't understand. I know it was astonishing that she's back but I'm not excited about it. Hindi ko iniimagine ang mangyayari pagkatapos ng araw na to. Parang mas gusto ko pang sumama kay Jessi kanina.
Naiinis din ako sa sarili ko. Nakita kong naiiyak si Jessi kahapon. I wasn't able to wipe her tears away and I hate myself for it. I knew she was hiding the pain behind those fake smiles she showed us. She fooled herself and Camille, but definitely not me.
There's a part of me that I get so happy thinking if she was jealous between me and Camille because that only means one thing.
Was she hurt?
I'm not sure if she was. Ayoko pa rin mag assume dahil gusto ko mismo na manggaling sa kanya.
"Welcome to our basement baby! Did you like it?"Camille hopped inside of the basement like a little kid. She looks so happy. I missed her smile.
"Yes, it looks luxurious."I said, looking around. I did like the ambiance inside here. Magaling talaga siyang mamili."But, why do you need to buy one for us?"
"Hmm, I was thinking after we graduate, we'll get married as soon as possible."he held my hand as we walk around the wide basement.
"I'll study here in the Philippines with you and we'll live here together."
"What? Dito ka mag aaral? How about your company at states?"I asked with my eyes wide. Dapat ba talagang maging ganito ang reaction ko? Parang hindi ako masaya. Hindi ako masaya na siya ang kasama.
"Don't worry about it baby. I explained everything to daddy. Pinagbigyan niya ako, I went here to study with you so I can spend time with you." I just nod and didn't respond to what she said. Tumahimik nalang ako.
Naiinis na naman ako sa sarili ko. Pakiramdam ko hindi na ako makakawala kay Camille. And I felt like cheating on Jessi. Alam kong hindi pa kami but I want to stay faithful to her. Ngayon hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin ang lahat kay Camille ang tungkol sa amin ni Jessi. I have no idea how to start at kung paano ko ipaiintindi sa kanya.
"Are you hungry? Do you want to eat something?"she asked.
"No. I'm okay."I answered as I shook my head.
Pero kumuha parin siya ng cheescake sa fridge na mukhang kakabili niya. Tsaka niya ito nilagay sa plate.
Sinusubuan niya ako pero umaayaw ako. Iniwas ko agad ang bibig ko nang makita kong malapit na ang kutsarang may cake sa akin.
"Baby, kanina kapa tahimik. Is there something wrong?"she curiously asked.
"No. Nothing's wrong. I'm just, tired."I lied. I don't know how to tell her that everything is wrong. This is wrong. I'm not happy of what she is doing.
She tried to kiss me, pero umayaw parin ako. Ni-riject ko siya, for the very first time. For the first time ni-reject ko yung babaeng akala ko hindi ko na makakalimutan mahalin until I fell in love with Jessi.
"Baby, why do I get this feeling?"I didn't looked at her even if I know she was looking at me. I can't meet her eyes as if I do it, my eyes would tell everything to her that I'm not happy with her because my love for her was all gone.
"It seems like, you don't miss me. You don't hug me back. You don't look at me in the eye, and now you're rejecting me. Is there a problem-- "
"Camille I said, I'm just tired!" I can't believe I just yelled at her. Nagulat ako sa taas ng boses ko pero naiirita ako sa mga yakap niya at iba pa niyang ginagawa.
"Baby, may iba na ba? Why didn't you wait for me? Nandito na ako baby."nanginginig na ang boses niya.
And when I looked at her, it was the very first time I saw Camille cried because she was hurt. I saw the pain in her eyes that was all caused of me. I never made her cried. And I never expected that I did now.
"Adrian, why are you doing this--'
"Camille I waited for you. I've been miserable for all this time."I cut her off. I'll take this chance to let this all out. Ayoko ng mas masaktan pa siya kapag pinatagal ko pa to, and what's worst, is that masasaktan ko rin si Jessi. And I can't afford that.
"At ngayon na nakaka-move on na ako tsaka ka naman babalik, you're very late." I explained.
Mas lalo pa siyang naiyak sa explanation ko but can she blame me? I didn't mean it. Basta nalang lumabas sa bibig ko. And I think I really need to do it.
"So is there a new one?"nag iwas ako ng tingin."Tell me Adrian! Tell me now!"
"Yes. There is Camille."I yelled at her again admitting the truth."May iba na akong mahal, at hindi na ikaw yun!"
"Baby, no. Please. Love me again. I still love you so much and I'll do everything do bring back the old us."she pleaded."I'll commit suicide kapag nawala ka sa akin. Tell me, who is she? Tell me, I'll tell her that I'm back. I'll tell her to just move on and leave us alo-"
"No Camille. You can't. You can't do that."I spoke at her giving her the look of disbelief."Don't you think it's too unfair?"
"Unfair?"she looked her as she repeated the word I just spoke."How can you say it's unfair for me to fight what is worth fighting for? And that is you baby, I'll fight for you."
"Camille you have nothing to fight for! I don't love you anymore. I can't love you anymore. I can't."she tried leaning me close to her but I refused her touch.
"Baby, please. You have to try it. Let's go back to the states. We'll start a new one. A new beggining. Let's get married."she pulled me closer as she pressed her lips against mine. She was asking for more but I broke it.
I looked at her gasping for my own breath."You know what Camille, let's just cut this. We're done."
"No, no. We're not yet done baby. Bawiin mo yung sinabi mo."hinila niya pa ang laylayan ng shirt ko. I hate seeing her like this but what i'm going to do now? I tried my best to explain everything to her but still, she doesn't understand any of it.
I really don't know if she gets the situation itself or she just hates accepting he truth that we can't happen anymore.
"You want this? baby let's make love tonight. "she's trying to kiss me again."Baby you can have all of me. I'm not letting you go."This time, she's talking half undressed, trying to unbottoned my uniform.
"Camille no. Don't give it to me. I don't deserve it."I stopped her."I don't love you anymore. Hindi ko na pwedeng ibalik."
Napaluhod na siya ngayon. She looks so wasted over me. I tried to help her up but she chose to stay that way. She chose to stay sitting down there like she was pleading for the love I gave her in the first place and she was trying to win it back."Ganyan ka na ba talaga ka-miserable sa'kin? You said I'll always be your baby. Sabi mo dati ako lang ang mamahalin mo."
"I thought you're dead. So I have no choice then but to move on and accept that you're gone."napaupo ako sa sofa.
"But I'm alive. Buhay na buhay ako. Aren't you happy that I'm back?"dinig na dinig ko ang pag hikbi niya.
"Ofcourse I am."napahilamos na ako sa mukha ko. Trying to think what to do next.
"I want you to know that I am so happy. But I don't think we can be together just like before. Hindi na kita mahal. I can't do anything about it."I shook my head, still not looking at her.
"Fine. I'll let you go baby. Because I love you. "she stood up and sat next to me."But, before you go, can you please do me a favor?"
"What is it?"
"Please stay the night. Spend the night with me."she leaned on me as I felt her soft lips above mine. She was kissing me torridly but I didn't find myself kissing her back.
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