Closer

19.

Of course Eddy was the first person Brett would call about his change in relationship status. He had to wake him up at six in the morning to inform him that the love of his life now belonged to someone else. He just had to go into the details of how much her father had liked him and how lucky he felt to have met such a great girl.

Eddy tried to be a good friend, he really did. He let him talk about it, he asked the right questions, he wanted to be happy for him.

But at the same time he couldn't help comparing himself to her. What did she have that he did not? Was it her blonde hair, her straight teeth, her laugh? Did she have a prettier smile? Was she a better listener? Did she have better sex?

"So anyway, we up for filming today?" Brett asked in the other end, and Eddy just wanted to roll over and pretend not to exist. Everything felt heavy.

"You're not hanging out with Leonora today?" he asked, trying to sound like he was teasing. It sounded more like he was trying not to puke. He felt out of breath, like someone had punched him in the stomach.

"Not until tonight, anyway. She's promised me a great round later."

Eddy knew he was joking, but he couldn't help himself. The envious remark had to come sooner or later.
"Is she better than me, then?" he asked, trying to sound like he was joking too. He wanted Brett to say that nobody would feel as good as him, but he knew that wasn't realistic. He knew he couldn't be as good as her.

"It's different doing it with someone you love, you know. Like, I love you bro, but it's different when you love love them."

"Must be nice to be with someone who feels the same," Eddy sighed, swallowing hard. His stomach hurt. A part of him wanted Brett to know how much he hurt, but he knew he couldn't tell him. Not if he wanted to have any hope of staying his friend. "Wish I could have that."

"Dude, don't be sad. You'll find someone, don't you worry. You're a nice guy, you're good in bed and you're handsome. Just give it time."

"I don't think it'll happen for me, Brett," Eddy mumbled, pulling the duvet over himself again. "But don't worry about that, I'm fine on my own."

It was silent in the other end for a bit, Brett seeming to try and think of what to say.
"Is that why you've been sad lately?" Brett asked eventually, sounding genuinely concerned. Eddy's instinct was to tell him he was fine like he always did. Brett shouldn't have to worry about him.

"I... I guess that's why," Eddy sighed, tears running down his face now with no way for him to stop them. He wanted to curse himself out for letting his mouth slip and spill his thoughts like that. "I guess seeing you with her just... I don't think I'll ever have that."

"Don't be silly, of course you will. One day the love of your life will just walk in and sparks will fly. Just wait and see."

He wanted to scream that he already had. That he was blind for not noticing the blushes, the glances, the longing. Eddy wanted him to notice him and to cause the sparks for him like he had the first time they had sex, the first time Brett had caressed his hips and made him feel like he was in heaven or just when Brett would hug him and make him feel like the world wouldn't collapse under his feet after all.

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine on my own." He took a deep breath, trying to steady his shaky voice. It didn't really work. "Are we filming today, though, or just talking about my sad romantic life?"

"I'm coming over, and I'm getting bubble tea for us on the way. See you in a bit."