Closer

57.

Eddy was woken up by the tiny sound of Brett attempting to shut the front door without waking him. He let out a sigh and turned on the couch, feeling his back ache as he did.

A pleasant scent filled his nostrils as he sat up, and when he got to the kitchen he found the source: a fresh stack of pancakes waiting for him along with a tiny note with Brett's handwriting.
"Hope they won't get cold before you wake up, but you looked like you needed the sleep. Love you."

Eddy couldn't help but smile a bit at the sweet gesture, but he quickly caught himself.
"He... He doesn't actually love you," he whispered to himself, but his tone was a lot more unsure than it had been when he cried himself to sleep the night before.

He grabbed the stack of pancakes and moved it to the kitchen table, sitting down in front of it. Brett had taken the time to prepare this for him, and he'd eat it even if he'd have to sit there the whole day.

After forcing down about a quarter of the meal Brett has prepared, his mind spun off into a space where everything and nothing was up for discussion.

Should he continue eating the pancakes? The logic said yes, the feelings said no.

Did he love Brett still?
The logic and the feelings were in agreement on this one.

Did he want to be with Brett?
The logic wasn't too sure, but his feelings screamed out the loudest yes. Even the logic had to consider it's unsure stance.

The most important question was saved for last. Did Brett love him?

Everything went quiet for a bit after the question was up in the air. Logic debated whether it made sense against and reason why Brett would lie about that. Would Brett lie about that?

Feeling whispered in the back of his mind, reminding him of all the times he'd been hurt by hoping, but also about the times Brett had been his safe place. About Brett letting him win in Mario cart so he'd feel better about a bad lesson, about helping him stand up to the kids in his class who kept teasing him about his teeth, about starting TwoSet, the fundraiser, the tour, about the hug in the airport.

"But what reason would he have to lie if he doesn't love me?" Eddy asked himself out loud, feeling the question bounce off the walls in his kitchen and echo back into his ears. If Brett didn't love him, why would he care enough to lie and say he did?

Eddy could feel his heart rate go up at the realization despite his natural instinct do doubt it. It still didn't make sense to him why Brett, the literal most fantastic guy Eddy had ever met or even heard of, would ever fall in love with him.

He wanted to believe it. He would make himself believe it if he had to. Even if it meant sitting there the whole day.