Closer

61.

"Do you know what you want to do?" Eddy asked, running his hand carefully through Brett's hair. It still felt like Brett would turn around and laugh at him for ever thinking Brett would love someone like him, but he was ignoring it as best he could. He knew it didn't make sense.

Brett, who had his head in Eddy's lap and his eyes closed, let out a sigh.

"With the baby, you mean?" he asked, shifting slightly. He had been thinking a lot about it, and no option seemed to be the right one.

"Yeah?" Eddy let his hand rest on Brett's cheek, running his thumb over his cheekbone. It was calming to let his fingers trace over the shape of Brett's face, as if that made the situation of actually getting to be this close more real.

"I don't know. On one hand, how would I even take care of a baby?"

"We," Eddy corrected him quietly, combing his hand through Brett's hair again. Brett opened his eyes and looked up at him.

"I still can't believe you're actually backing me on this after all I've done to you," Brett said, but Eddy just shrugged.

"I would've helped you anyway, but I guess being a 'we' makes it easier," Eddy mumbled, licking his lower lip. "If you think it'll be 'we' still by then, at least. I get if it's a bit much dealing with both me and a baby."

"Don't be silly, Eddy. Of course it's gonna be a we," Brett stated firmly, taking Eddy's hand between his and resting it on his chest. "The question is if we want the responsibility of a baby or not."

"That's up to you," Eddy said with a small smile, running his available hand through Brett's hair again. Brett furrowed his brows.

"What do you think, though? If you actually plan on being with me, then it's not my decision, but our decision," Brett pointed out, trying to make out the blurry Eddy looking down at him.

"I think you'll know best," Eddy mumbled, licking his lips like he always did when nervous.

"But what do you want?"

Eddy went quiet for a bit, looking like he was considering if he should speak or not. It made Brett nervous as well. What if Eddy didn't want a kid?

"I think," Eddy said, sounding like he had decided but still doubted his choice. "That if you actually love me and want to be with me forever, then this is probably our best shot at ever becoming parents."

Brett went quiet for a bit as Eddy's words travelled through his brain, activating the different parts they touched. The image of the two of them and a tiny bundle of joy popped into his head.

"That is a very good point," Brett confirmed, trying to see Eddy's facial expression despite not wearing glasses. "If you want me, I'll be with you forever, though. That's not something to even question."

"That's what I'm hoping for," Eddy nodded, smiling. The smile looked somewhat sad, though. Brett knew it was the doubt he had caused him to have, and it hurt to see it affect him.

"So the question is if we want to be parents," Brett said, running his thumb over Eddy's hand still resting on his chest. He wanted to rub the sadness in Eddy's smile away, if he could.

Eddy nodded, obviously thinking about something. Brett sent him a questioning look.

"I have, uh... This is going to be weird, and I get if..." Eddy began, but Brett stopped him before he could spiral.

"Just tell me, I'm sure it'll be fine."

Eddy hesitated again, and Brett could feel the light nervous shiver of his hand as it traced his jaw.
"I have imagined us as parents before, and I like the idea of that," Eddy finally admitted, not being able to help the tiny smile playing on his lips.

"Would you not feel weird caring for Leonora's kid, though?" Brett asked after a while, and Eddy looked like he wanted to laugh at a joke.

"It's your kid, she doesn't want it."

Brett blinked a few times. "Your kid" played through his mind a few extra times. It sounded nice.
"I haven't decided if I want it either," Brett pointed out, but it wasn't really true anymore. "But... I also don't know if I could ever forgive myself if I let a kid go through the adoption system unnecessary."

"It's up to you, but I think you'll make a good dad," Eddy said with a smile that made Brett's heart melt. "And I guess... I'd have some kind of dad function as well, if... I mean, if we're gonna do this together."

"You'll be an amazing dad too, Eddy. We can do this."