Closer

69.

"I swear Eddy, I do want to share this with you, to be dads together, to..."

"You said," Eddy interrupted him, resting his chin on top of Brett's head. They had moved to sit on the couch and Eddy just felt bad about everything. Nothing he did was right, everything just got much harder for Brett because of him. If only he'd kept his mouth shut, just let Brett kiss him that first time and pretend it didn't mean anything.

"But you don't believe me," Brett sighed, closing his eyes as he rested against Eddy's chest. "This should be a happy experience for you too. Actually, right now, I'm not sure if I'm having a happy experience."

"I'm sorry I ruined the happiness of having a kid for you."

"That's... Not what I said and not what I meant," Brett mumbled, licking his lips. He just wanted Eddy to be happy with him, to look forward to have a family with him. Not just feel bad about things he hadn't even done wrong. "I just... I want you to be happy with me, to be excited with me because we're going to be parents. We, Eddy. Not just me."

"You know you don't have to pretend..."

"Have you thought of any names?" Brett interrupted him before he could make the wrong assumptions again.

"That's not my..."

"Yes it it, you want to do this with me, right? I'm not making you be a parent, am I?" Brett asked, pulling away from Eddy to look him in the eye. "You want this, right?"

"I... I mean, yeah, but..."

"I want that too, so we're doing that," Brett said firmly. "We're signing the contract together, okay? Both our signatures, WE are getting our child."

Eddy sat speechless for a moment, trying to wrap his head around Brett's words. Again, logic and feelings fought in his mind. Logic told him that Brett was the most amazing person for dealing with him, for doing his best to make sure Eddy was alright, to make Eddy feel safe and for wanting to share this experience with him.

Feelings told him that while this seemed great, there was no reason Brett should want that. Feelings told Eddy that Brett was just pitying him or that maybe he just hadn't realized how exhausting it would be to deal with Eddy full time. That he hadn't realized he didn't actually love Eddy, that he just had the function of making Brett feel better until he found someone worthy of his love.

Logic won this time as Brett's honest, pleading eyes melted Eddy's heart into a puddle.

"Our child," Eddy confirmed, licking his lips. A hint of butterflies presented themselves as he said it. The thought caused a tiny smile to play on his lips.

"C... Can I kiss you?" Brett asked as a whisper, and Eddy found himself nodding without even thinking about it. It felt right, just what he needed right now.

He felt Brett's breath brush over his lips as he half opened them. Brett's gentle fingers traced his jawbone as a millimeter still lingered between them. It took a moment before Eddy realized Brett wanted him to close the gap, to confirm he wanted the kiss, wanted Brett.

He closed the gap, sneaking his arms around Brett's waist as he did. This was what he wanted, and it felt fantastic.