At Long Last

Limbo

July
Pyongyang, North Korea

Two more months, and Jeong Hyeok would set off for Switzerland.

He would fly off, to where his Southern swallow was waiting.

"Eomeonim,

How are you? It has been a long while since we have last seen each other.

Thank you for penning that letter to me. It must have been so difficult for you, to say what you've said.

As a woman, I admire you so much.

You have raised two wonderful sons, and played the role of wife to the director of the General Political Bureau so well. You are wise, and have treated me with nothing but kindness, despite the fact that I am South Korean.

I cannot thank you enough for your acceptance.

I understand every bit of your well wishes for us, but I have also clearly told Jeong Hyeok that I do not wish for him to defect.

Call me selfish, but I do not think I am capable of handling the guilt that would come with him leaving North Korea for me.

How can I take your son from you?

Your unbiased graciousness towards me, for all the difference there is between us, will be a constant source of guilt for me.

Maybe Jeong Hyeok and I will continue with the current arrangement of meeting annually.

Maybe one day, as blissful as situation might be for now, we might not sustain the test of time and end up as strangers once again.

However, he would forever be your son. That remains an indisputable fact.

It must sound terrible to you, that I am speaking as if Jeong Hyeok is a ball which is being kicked back and forth between us.

Selfishly, I would always want him.

But I am not sure if I am able to ever erase the pain in his heart should I take him from you.

I cannot speak for the future, but if ever, if he ever chose to defect, please know that it is likely a combination of pressing circumstances, determination and immense sadness that led him to it.

For now, please help me take good care of Ri Jeong Hyeok-ssi, and of yourselves too.

I might not ever have the good fortune to call you and Abeonim my parents-in-law in this lifetime, but no matter what, I thank you for your love and acceptance.

Best regards,
Yoon Se-ri"

Folding the almost wrinkled letter up, evident of the number of times she had gone through these words, Kim Yoon Hee suppressed a soft sigh.

How was a mother supposed to feel when a young lady wrote her a letter like this?

Kim Yoon Hee had never felt so strongly the agony of the state of limbo they were all in.

For the first time in all her years, she grieved the political divide.

Even the half-consumed red ginseng powder bottle sitting on their kitchen countertop was a stark reminder of the split.

As Ri Jeong Hyeok's mother, she would have loved to interact with Yoon Se-ri's parents.

With September drawing closer and closer, every time Jeong Hyeok came back home for a meal, they would all inevitably be thinking the same thought.

Would this be the last time that they gathered around as a family?

The folk tales that she had told Jeong Hyeok as a child weren't half as straightforward after all.

The southern swallow did return to repay Heungbu's kindness in this lifetime.

Though in doing so, who was truly happy, and who was truly not?

——————————————————————

August
Seoul, South Korea

Se-ri did not know if the call she had received from Jeong Hyeok back in May was a blessing or a curse.

To be honest, it felt more like a curse than a blessing.

Sure, she had been overjoyed to hear from him.

But after that fateful night, she found herself constantly worrying about Jeong Hyeok.

That was the biggest problem with their love. Even something as sweet and thoughtful as a long distance call, could end up as a persistently torturous thought in her mind.

Did he make it back safely to Pyongyang? She couldn't get an answer to that.

The only thing she could really do, once again, was to desperately pray and wait. They were left with four weeks to September.

For now, most things were already taken care of.

She had couriered some items over to Lungern, and even found time to browse for another car.

Even at her company, she had chosen to tell some closer employees that she was taking a year-long absence from working in Seoul to stay with her fiancé in Switzerland as he furthered his studies.

Obviously, no one apart from Mr Hong knew that Jeong Hyeok was North Korean. The rest knew him as a foreigner, and that was good enough.

Work-wise, she had already managed to work out her schedule in Switzerland.

Thrice-weekly Microsoft Teams meetings with her team, small side projects such as limited edition cosmetics for the Switzerland market at Seri's Choice makeup counters and to explore greater market engagement with European business partners.

She had already successfully submitted an application for a long-stay visa, also known as a D-visa, in Switzerland with assistance from the local scholarship foundations that she had been financing.

With that, staying in Switzerland for a year wouldn't be a problem.

Se-ri knew she should be happier than this.

The one year together was going to be nothing short of amazing.

Rather, it was the thought of what happened after the year that was absolutely terrifying.