Collision

Chapter 47

Jeongguk took his place at the table, pulling his legs to his chest as he watched Yoongi prepare the food. The quietness was appreciated, though they both felt the slight loss of the other two.

Yoongi relaxed as the tranquil silence continued, the only sound being the sizzling meat and the quiet breathing of Jeongguk as he watched and waited for their meal to be completed.

When the food was plated, they clambered over to the couch and settled amongst the cushions, pressed together. Yoongi loved the familoiarty, loving the way they fit together on the couc like a puzzle piece, and their tangling together.

Words didn't even need to be said, and Yoongi found himself realizing that this is what Yoongi first fell in love with Jeongguk for. Was that even in silence, Jeongguk could say more than a thousand things. He had touched Yoongi without even needing to use his hands.

"Yoongi," Jeongguk murmured, setting aside his now empty plate. Yoongi looked up from his food, wiggling his toes from where they were hidden under Jeongguk's legs. "Have you ever thought about making music again? For yourself, I mean."

"What?"

Yoongi frowned, unsure of where Jeongguk had thought of such a question until his brain drew up an image of Namjoon. Of course, it was Namjoon. Seokjin never really spoke of his music, even though Yoongi was more than sure he thought about it.

Yoongi sighed, setting his own empty plate on the coffee table and staring absently into the flickering orange embers of the dying fire.

"I don't know. I haven't really found a reason to," Yoongi admits, lips curling downwards in thought. "Making music for others just seems easier than making it for me."

"It doesn't have to be," Jeongguk mumbles, amber eyes glistening and sable hair shining in the dim firelight. Yoongi inhales sharply, eyes trained blankly ahead. "I just think you're scared."

Yoongi recoils, a scowl twisting his features. "Scared?"

Jeongguk nods. "You're scared, Yoongi."

"I am not scared, Jeongguk."

Jeongguk sighs, pulling himself out from the couch and kneeling in front of Yoongi. Cowering, Yoongi tries to keep his eyes away from amber, unable to meet the color, and pushes himself to stand.

At the movement, Jeongguk snagged at Yoongi's wrist, gently tugging him to a stop. His hold was loose enough that his touch was featherlight, but firm enough that he couldn't shake off his grip.

Like a rose he had picked from the gardens, not wanting to be cut by his thorns, but oh so gently. Frightened of harming his beauty or letting a petal fall.

Yoongi felt his heart quiver. "Jeongguk, let go," he warns, but it sounded weak even to his own ears. He tugged at his wrist, but Jeongguk refused to let go. "I am not scared."

"You're scared. Scared that the world will hurt you again. Steal something precious like it had taken yours eyes. Your brother. Your parents," Jeongguk breathes, words laced with sadness and urgency. A rush of air weighted by knowledge, desperate to be heard.

Yoongi froze, heart withering within his chest. He felt his palms go cold, slicked with a thin sheen of sweat. His eyes darted towards the colored tapes, debating on if he could make it before the wolf.

He felt caged, trapped, surrounded by Jeongguk's sharp teeth and wide jaws. He wasn't ready to face himself, he never wanted to be faced with the after math.

For so long, Yoongi has avoided Namjoon. But Jeongguk... his Jeongguk. He wasn't sure he had the strength to avoid him. Didn't have the heart, because his heart was no longer his own.