Collision

Chapter 101

Yoongi startles, yelping in surprise loud enough that he was embarrassed of himself. The glass he was holding shattering as it hit the ground. Flinching as he met Namjoon's wide-eyed stare, he ducks his head.

"Hyung, you okay? Yoongi hyung-"

"Fine, I'm fine. Just- give me a moment," Yoongi shouts, then recoils at the volume of his tone.

Jimin and Taehyung were frozen by the table, Hoseok lingering near them, while Seokjin was scowling from where he was already sitting down at the table, looking baffled. Jeongguk stood slowly, eyes round and mouth parted, and he reached out as if to touch Yoongi's cheek.

A sharp ache filters through Yoongi's chest, and without thinking, Yoongi ducks away before Jeongguk could make contact. Hurt crumbles Jeongguk's face, looking as if Yoongi had slapped him.

Breathing harshly, Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut, mumbling a weak apology, and flees the room. His chest was tight, air thick in his throat as he managed to make it to his bedroom. He slams the door closed, leaning heavily against it as he tries to gather himself.

He could hear faint murmurs from the kitchen, and Yoongi desperately tried to tune them out. He squeezes his hands over his ears, trying to focus on his thoughts and calm himself down.

He knew it was his anxiety that was causing this, overthinking on his part, something he hasn't felt a lot since becoming a wolf.

But he guessed not even being a Lycan can fix everything. It can't fix his mind.

A knock sounded. Yoongi's eyes flew open, breath catching in his throat. "Go- go away, Jeongguk."

"It's not- it's Taehyung."

A beat of silence. Yoongi wasn't sure he was even breathing.

"Can I come in?"

With a shaky hand and not much debate, Yoongi reaches over and unlocks the door, scooting away to allow Taehyung room to squeeze himself through.

The Beta hadn't even glanced at his bedroom, merely slips inside and settled on the other side of Yoongi with his legs crossed and fingers resting absently in his lap. Yoongi kept his eyes trained on the floor in front of him, and Taehyung was peering towards the ceiling.

Neither spoke for a while.

"Aren't you going to ask?" Yoongi mutters tiredly, cutting him a sharp look. "I am sure you have some questions."

"Why do placebos work? If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? What's the best thing before sliced bread, like, that is such a weird human saying. Sliced bread. It's not all that great? Rolls. Rolls are better," Taehyung says, face scrunched as if truly troubled. "Are rolls technically sliced?"

Yoongi barked out a bewildered laugh. Taehyung smiles faintly, seeming pleased with himself but his eyes still semi-serious as he licks his lips, wetting them absently.

"Where do you even-?"

"TV. I have a lot of freetime, so YouTube does wonders," Taehyung explains, running a long, slender finger over his pant leg. Yoongi hums, understanding.

"That wasn't the kind of question I was talking about," he states evenly, eyes returning to the floor in front of him.

"I know," he answers, shrugging. "Did you really want them to ask them? Because I can."

"I don't know."

"Well," muses Taehyung, cocking his head. "Let's start easy."

"Easy?"

A small grin begins to twitch at Taehyung's lips, which he smacks quickly. "Yep. Easy. Like- what were you thinking about?"

"That is not easy, Tae," Yoongi says, deadpan.

Taehyung chitters. "It never is when it comes to you." He bumps his shoulder lightly, smiling warmly. "Come on. What were you thinking about? Your face was pretty... withdrawn. Sad. Your honeysuckle was practically rancid."

"Jeongguk," he answers quietly. "I was thinking about Jeongguk."

"Oh?" Surprise causes Taehyung's brows to disappear under unruly brown hair, lips curling downwards. Yoongi nods once, scowling. "Why- why Jeongguk?"

"I feel- I feel stupid, actually. I mean, I know I am supposed to be all Alpha and shit, but there- I still feel human sometimes and not even being a Lycan can change that," Yoongi mutters, picking a loose thread.

"First, sub-gender means literal shit, so I get that," Taehyung answers firmly, fingers briskly shoving his bangs away from his face. "But I am still lost on what this has to do with Jeongguk though?"

"I- does he not want to mate with me?" he blurts, then recoils at the words. Taehyung blinks, looking as if the words had truly thrown him for a loop. Yoongi's cheeks burst into flames. "You can totally forget I just said that."

"No, I won't," Taehyung says, an edge to his voice as he grasps at Yoongi's wrist. "Yoongi, what gave you that idea?"

"He never- he never talks about it. Never once brought it up that he wants to mate me with me, or have pups, or, hell, I don't know," he mutters, trying to ignore the cyanide in his voice. "And he hasn't- we haven't- been really, together."

"You mean sex."

Well, when he puts it that way.

Yoongi exhales loudly. "Yeah. Yeah, I mean sex."

The Beta nods his head, eyes returning to the ceiling with his eyes creased in the corners. Yoongi just stares blankly at the floor, unsure of what else to say. Because he was hurting. His pack was happy, together.

And Yoongi felt segregated from Jeongguk, as if he was still human and feeling like he just wasn't enough for Jeongguk.

"I am going to be honest with you, Yoongi," Taehyung speaks up, eyes returning to Yoongi's. "I don't really know what to tell you. I can't read Jeongguk's mind, and honestly have no desire to. He has always dealt with things alone, and that has never changed, but, Yoongi, maybe you should mention it to him?"

"I don't- I don't know how." Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut. "I need more time. To gather myself. Figure things out. It's just been- different."

"You mean being a wolf." It wasn't a question, so Yoongi didn't feel the need to answer it. "It is a bit different now. A good difference though." He knocks his shoulder against Yoongi's. "Take the time you need, but Yoongi, I wouldn't worry about his answer. He loves you. I know he does."

"Okay."

Taehyung smiles, stretching briefly so that his shirt rides up before he clambers to his feet. "Come on. I'm starved and I am not sure how much longer Jimin can fend off Guk or Jin. It's quite the battle."

Snorting, Yoongi gets to his feet. "No doubt."

Together, they head out of the bedroom and return to the kitchen. The glass was cleaned up, and they all briefly glanced up to smile at Yoongi but didn't seem to mention it as Taehyung plops in his seat.

Awkwardly, Yoongi shuffles forward and settles slowly into his chair. Jeongguk reaches over, hesitating inches from Yoongi's hand, and Yoongi reaches out and clasps their hands together.

Jeongguk sighs in relief.

And maybe Yoongi sighs in relief too, feeling Jeongguk's hand. Warm and familiar, clutching onto his as if afraid to let go, and it's enough. For now, it's enough. Even if he can't meet Hoseok or Taehyung's knowing gaze, he smiles because it's okay.

Jeongguk is here, beside him.

I literally cannot math. Oh well. 

So, unrelated, but I was in the infant room today and I got the most serious baby to grin at me today. I honestly feel like I have succeeded in life, and I can die happy now. I have been blessed :)

Okay, love you guys <3