We're more alike than you think

28. Tony

"How are you feeling today?" Tony asked you concerned.

You couldn't even look at him. You knew why he was asking and he had been asking you for days, but you weren't ready to talk with him, not to anyone. It's been five days since you encountered your father, and the first time since you had stopped using your powers. Tony had given you space to heal and collect your thoughts, but the time was up, he was done waiting.

"Y/n you haven't spoken for days, I want you to trust me" he whispered and leaned into the kitchen counter. You sat still on the couch and just looked at him,  empty for words. Nothing you could say would make up for what you felt inside. Every movement, little as changing position in the couch felt like a heavy burden, so opening your mouth would be more demanding than what you could give at this time.

"We found you near death after meeting your father... You should be crying, screaming, or whatever you feel, expresses it! Don't be this closed off."

A tear fell down your cheek. It hurt, it physically hurt to cry. It was like a muscle was broken and screaming in pain. You tried to hold it in the best you could. Your body told you to shut down and go back to your bedroom, but you knew by this point that Tony would just follow after you. Tony walked slowly over to you and sat down beside you.

"y/n" he said in an emphatic voice and took an arm carefully slowly around your shoulder.

"STOP IT!" you screamed and pushed him away altering the magnetic field to his Arc reactor causing him to hit the wall on the other side of the room. You realise what you just have done and put him down on the floor. You stared down at your own hands, they were shaking. It's been a year since you had stopped using your powers and you thought you were in control of it by now, but clearly your emotions got the best of you.

"I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry" you said and tried to get your hands to stop shaking. Tony got himself up and walked slowly over to you before he took both your hands in his. "It's fine, it's fine y/n" he said and looked you in the eyes, "do you hear me, it's fine?" he repeated. You nodded desperately, trying to believe the words he said as a tear fell down.

"I'm not okay Tony" you whispered even now your voice was shaking.

"That's okay" he whispered and calmed you down.

"Charles tried to warn me, but I didn't believe him, so I went blindly in. I knew it was enhanced people there, but not... not people like me." you whispered as you tried to not swallow your own words. Tony gave you a small nod and carefully walked you to the couch. You sat down and grabbed a pillow you could squeeze your hands into.

"And when I came in, it was him. Charles was right. I knew better than to fight them alone, so I tried to leave, but it was too late, he already saw me.." you said and stared at Tony who sat in front of you following every word you said.

"First he only wanted to talk, trying to make me understand why he was doing what he was doing, then he started talking about me joining him again, father as daughter...but then he noticed that he couldn't feel me within the magnetic field.. and that's when he understood that I had cut myself from my powers" you said low, trying to collect all your thoughts, but the tears were pressing on and you were afraid of clouding your own thoughts. Tony saw how hard you tried to get the words out, to open up to him and it made him glad that you were willing to do that, but he felt pain in the chest just listening to what you told him.

"He didn't like that" you said desperately searching for air.

Tony immediately sat down beside you again and took his hands around you. Your mouth was open searching for the right words to describe what happened next. How your father had beaten you up with his power only to prove one point, the danger of giving up and hiding your mutant powers.

"Shhh, it's fine. You don't need to tell me the rest" he whispered and kissed the top of your head.

It's been days since you and Tony had talked things out. Your body has healed, but your mindset from time to time could get pretty cloudy. Rhodey told you that if you wanted to get back out there, you had to work for it. So here you sat together with Rhodey playing chess. When you were little you would always play together with Charles and of course he would always win, but it was worth it. It made you extremely sharp when you played with people who couldn't read your thoughts, so Rhodey was really an easy match.

"Y/n I would like to talk to you about something" Tony said as he entered the room. You looked up at him and he gave Rhodey a nod to leave the room. You immediately understood that he wanted to have a serious conversation again and your body got tense just by thinking about it.

"What?" you asked and stared at your down at your fingers.

"I talked with Pepper about the conversation we had" he said and sat down on a chair a couple of meters away from you.

You immediately looked up at him annoyed. You wanted Pepper to like you. She was important to Tony, therefore she was important to you and now she probably walked around thinking you were a psychopath on the run. Pepper was always so nice to you, in many ways she reminded you of your own mom, but at the same time she was like a sister. She was the only normal person you could do normal stuff with.

"Tony, I don't want her to think I'.."

"Relax" Tony said and cut you short. He reached for his pocket and took out something that looked like a little black box, but you had seen that box before and you knew it was far from a normal box. Back in your bounty days you had been sent to try to steal it from Director Coulson, but you never got told what it really was or how it worked.

"We agreed that we wanted to give this to you" he said and put the box in your hands.

You looked a bit confused at it. You knew that you must be doing something wrong, cause literally nothing was happening while you were holding it and since you knew how valuable this thing was, you guessed it was something inside of it.

"Normally this is only given to the director of S.H.I.E.L.D, with a few exceptions. Like me, cause I make them," Tony said with a laugh. You looked up at him with some big confused eyes and he sat down beside you. He took the box out of your hands and opened it and a big virtual screen appeared in front of you. It looked amazing.

"It works like a computer, but with access to whatever you must need, and I meant WHATEVER. Government databases, old archives or even satellites" he said as he scrolled through the different pages as he showed you how to use it. He moved it all just with his fingers in the air. He ended up showing a satellite from a random live street in New York. "This is amazing, but are you sure it's a good idea?" you asked and took your eyes off the screen and looked at Tony. He would be breaking protocol giving it to you and this wasn't exactly a normal gift either. He smiled weakly

"Yes, I trust you" he said and closed the box and put it back in your hands.

"This way you don't need to rely on anyone. Not Charles. Not your father. Not me" he said before he pointed at your head "because you will have access to all the knowledge in the world to form your own opinion" he continued and pointed to your heart.

"Thank you, Tony" you whispered.