We're more alike than you think

74. Fighting a friend

The room started to shake as your emotions took more and more overhand. You didn't want Bucky here. You didn't want him to see you like this. You couldn't move your hand in his grip, and you were not sure if it was because you didn't want to or if you weren't able to. 'You know, being able to kill someone is very different from having to do it' his line went on repeat inside your own head. Not only was the room shaking, but your body was starting to lose control.

"I don't wanna do this Bucky!" You yelled over to him. He could see through the darkness in you. He knew that underneath of all that, you were still just the little scared y/n he knew when he first met you. He nodded his head. If he only got you to relax, that would be more than enough to at least stop these walls from falling apart. It was clear as a day that he came at the right time, cause you were seconds away from beating Charles to death with your own arms. "I know y/n" he said loudly back, trying to soften his voice.

"But I have to do it Bucky!" you yelled. Your lips were shaking. Deep down you were just as nervous about this as you were sure it was the right decision. This was what Bucky had told you about. Being a leader, making the tough call. You were allowed to be nervous while doing so. You closed your eyes and tried to clear your mind, but everything was dark. Tears started to stream as you realised what you had to do.

You altered Bucky's arm as you kicked him in his stomach three times, trying to make him lose his balance and simply just fall, but he knew what was going inside of your head. The same way you weren't in control of your mind because of the drug, was how he spent years and years with Hydra. This wasn't you and it wasn't your fault. If he had to fight you to make you realise that, then the winter soldier would have to. The two of you went hand to hand, both of you knowing every step the other would do, making it an impossible match. If he took the hit, you would take the next and it would simply never change. It was like the two of you were in sync.

"You don't have to do anything y/n!" Bucky yelled at you as he threw you over one of the medical desks. Okay, you had enough of his silly games. He didn't know what was best for you. You altered the desk and threw it over at Bucky, who jumped away. He was left with no other choice when you started to use your powers against him, to do the same exact thing towards you. He held back, cause he didn't wanna hurt you, but you had now gone over the edge.

He ran towards you, and when you threw a punch his way, he simply dogged it and kicked your knee forcing you to fall back, but just as easily you fell you got up and dogged his second kick. He never thought he would actually need to fight you, and especially he never thought about how impossible it would be after the years you had spent together. How much the two of you had taken from each other. For only a second a window opened for him, and he kicked you as hard as he could right into the wall. You immediately got up in time to alter his metal arm he was ready to punch with you. You threw yourself against the wall and threw yourself over his shoulder. With all the power you had you tried to punch his head. You only wanted him to pass out, long enough for you to escape, but it was impossible. He threw you down at the desk and grabbed your neck with his metal arm.

"Y/n I don't know what has happened to you, but I need you. We need you. So wake up" He yelled.

You knew that he was holding back. You had seen him do the same exact move on others, taking their breath away in seconds. You closed your eyes. He only held you down like this because he wanted to control you. Everything he said was a lie. It was something he said only because he thought it would make you happy. Make you bow down again for him. This was all fun in games for him. He liked you because you were just as messed up as him, but was that really true anymore? He could move on from his past, you had to live with your everyday. He left you alone in the mess, while he was clear.

"Stop lying," you screamed and altered his arm, lifting it away from your neck. You took a deep breath before you sat up. Hank and Charles were both now on their feet again, ready to fight you or so you thought and if you thought it, it was the truth. You altered their blood and threw them against the wall. "All of you need to stop lying!" you screamed pushing them deeper and deeper into the wall.

"Stop saying that this isn't me, this is me! I have been told all my life what to do or what I should be and I'm sick of it. If I chose to do one thing, I would disappoint one group, but then if I do what they want, I disappoint the other one. I could never please anyone. Not you, not Tony, not Zemo, not Sam... Not my father" You screamed as you started to walk back and forth to keep yourself intact. Everything you said came out wrong. It was just as messy as what you felt on the inside. You stopped walking. You closed your eyes, and took a deep breath. You turned towards the three men. Tears falling down your cheek as you positioned yourself only half a meter away from them. You calmed yourself down.

"I can never run away. I can never escape. I can never be free, cause my past will always haunt me. Even when I have accepted that and I turn myself in willingly I still.. I still get treated like an animal. Listen to me!" you yelled. You started to melt the metal around you to small sharp bullets.

"They were so afraid of me, that I couldn't even be with my own kind. I had to be alone in that cell! Do you know what they did to me? They drugged me. I woke up five days later, emptied for blood, but full of drugs. They would drug me to feed me. They would drug me to clean me. I had to wake up in the prison cell, not even knowing what they had done to my body. I was alone! They made me this monster that I always knew I was." You screamed. You didn't want to hurt them. You only wanted to be heard, but it was too late now. They had seen you do too much harm to let you walk away. You had to end them. You looked down at the bullets as tears started to stream.

"I never wanted to become like my father, and now look at me" you whispered with a crooked smile. Someone new stepped into the room.

"Then don't do as I did"