We're more alike than you think

104. love is a luxury

You could feel your heart racing and your hands getting sweaty. The journalists asked the questions as they thought it was a simple answer to it, but this was no quiz. There were thousands of answers to that one question. Ross noticed your sudden change in behavior and took a step up, ready to brush the question away before you stopped him giving him a nod, showing him that it was okay. You stood by the microphone and tried to calm yourself down.

"I'll start with saying that whoever I am with or have been with, shouldn't change your prescription of me. In every relationship I've been in, I have always been my own person," you said, treading carefully around this subject. You knew if you opened up too much, people would judge you, so you had to make sure every word coming out of your mouth was truthful.

"I'm not gonna share who I have dated with the whole world, it's not relevant and it is disrespectful to the women and men I have been lucky enough to be close with," you said, feeling the warmth of the blitzes from the cameras.

Hands got thrown up in the air the second you said, 'women and men', but you chose to ignore them. You knew what you had said, and even if that may interest others, you had no need to deliberate on it in front of the whole world. Who you slept with, or rather what genders they may have, is irrelevant for the public. Your personale had no interest in defining it either. It was between you and your partner.

"Baron Helmut Zemo had intel on a mission led by Captain America, therefore he joined the mission. I simply worked for the Captain together with James Bucky Barnes. That's why he was seen in New York together with the three of us," you said, trying to brush off the question.

"Y/n, c'mon we saw the two of you kiss very passionately before he got turned away by the police. It was clearly more than two friends, it was emotional and personal!" The women added quickly.

Of course, you had heard her question, she specifically asked about the kiss and if the two of you were an item, not why he was seen out of his prison cell, but you felt uncomfortable answering the question. It didn't help with her description of the two of you. She was right, the two of you were clearly more than friends, but the two of you had never spoken together about what you actually were. Even if you wanted to answer the question, you wouldn't know how to answer her. You smiled weakly as you looked to the side out the windows. These questions were not even questions, it was only irritating.

"You answered your own question, didn't you?" you said with a dry laugh as you looked back at the lady.

"Truth is, in my line of work we don't do relationships, not in any form. What we do is survive. Survive to fight. Even if I wanted to answer your question, I couldn't possibly do it," you said in a very serious tone.

As funny as these gossip magazines or the people on the internet found this, for you this was bloody serious. It was your life and it was no joke. One day you could be living the dream, the next day you could be drugged in a prison. If it ever came a day you and Zemo could be together, it wouldn't even be in the normal traditional way. It would always be a risk there. Most people couldn't understand what people like you went through, and you were done explaining it.

"Relationships are safety I live in constant danger and love is a luxury I don't have money for."