We're more alike than you think

78. What did I do?

The sun shined on your face, waking you up from what felt like a nightmare. You couldn't remember anything besides feeling lost and alone. The last thing you remembered properly was being at the prison with Matt, but that felt like ages ago. Everything was quiet, not even a sound came through as you slowly came back to your senses. Your body was still in pain, but you felt relaxed, peaceful for the first time in a long time. You laid tucked down in a bed, and it took you a while to notice what exact bed it was. This was the bed you normally had when you were a little child coming here every summer. You looked out the window and tried to sit up, but laid quickly down again as you groaned in pain.

"Probably a little early for you to do that" you heard Sam say with a little laugh.

You turn your head around, surprised to see him here sitting by your side. You didn't know what to say, cause you couldn't piece what had happened together. You got a glimpse of fighting with Bucky, but you were unsure if it was old memories coming up or new ones and you didn't wanna ask any questions that could hurt anyone. You had missed Sam so much. You knew that what happened in Latvia with Karli and his sister wasn't your fault, and you would do it all again because it genuinely was the best chance we had at succeeding, but you still understood why he might have felt like you pressured him in an already heated situation. You never wanted to hurt him.

"I missed you," was all you got out of your mouth.

Sam's beautiful smile was now showing and you couldn't help yourself but feel the warmth of it coming your way. To say that the last six months you have had together had been rough was an understatement, but it always got easier with Sam by your side. Maybe he didn't have any superpowers or special serum, but his presence was always magical.

"I missed you too," Sam said as he leaned over the night table, so he could see your face better. You laughed low. You didn't deserve to have such good friends in your life, but now that you were lucky to have gotten them, you gladly keep them. You saw a clock on the wall behind Sam when you realized you had no clue of how much time you had spent here or how you even got here. Your smile faded, as you tried to get your head around it without any success.

"Sam I'm sorry to ask, but how did I get here? The last thing I remember was being at The Raft, and a guy called Matt showed up... I don't even remember what he really did there" you asked, getting more and more confused as you spoke. If you remembered correctly Charles told you the day before that Matt was your lawyer, but not the one who bailed you out, but even that felt foggy now. You had been drugged down so much in between interactions that even the times you weren't on anesthesia it felt like a black hole.

You noticed how Sam's smile faded the second you asked the question. His face got much more serious, so you understood that whatever he had to say was something serious. Most surely something that you wouldn't like. You closed your eyes for a second and tried to remember anything, hoping that just the tiniest memory could come back so Sam didn't need to explain everything to you, but you were totally blank. You looked back up at Bucky who moved his chair from the wall, so he now instead sat towards you. He took your hand.

"I'm about to tell you something that will be very hard for you to hear, but you deserve to know the truth. Nobody died, only injured. I need you to understand that none of this is truly your fault. Can you promise me that?" he asked you very gently. You looked up at him confused but nodded your head. If you didn't do it you knew he wasn't gonna tell you anything about it, and you had to fill in the holes.

"Remember the anesthesia they gave you at the raft? To keep you intact and don't go unstable, they have to stun you every five hours. When Matt came to the prison, you had been seven hours without it, so naturally, your body started to react to it slowly. Zemo, who is downstairs bailed you out, with help from Charles to get you safely out. You panicked inside of the prison cell when you saw Ze.." he said, and the memories until you got drugged again came flooding back. You closed your eyes, trying to get the feeling away. The sound the glass made every time you hit the wall, were stuck as Sam continued to speak.