We're more alike than you think

77. I have to do this

"You need to get away from me! go! I want you to leave!"

You screamed as you hit his chest as hard as you could, but he held you like a rock. He was not gonna risk being naive about this. He understood what you were trying to do and what you felt on the inside. Revenge and hatred could drive anyone mad, but worst of all was that this wasn't even you. This is what the drugs had done to you. They made you so unstable that your own mind wasn't clear. He didn't want you to wake up with the clouds gone realising you had done something you could never take back.

"I am not leaving you," he said.

Every punch you threw was well deserved. The drugs made you unstable, but it was just as much his and everyone's else's fault for leading you into this dark path. If the world had been kinder to you, you would never find yourself drifting into these thoughts. He had to own up to his own role in this. He knew you could beat him up or kill him with a simple snap with your fingers, but he just had to trust his gut that you wouldn't.

"I don't wanna hurt you! I wanna kill him. After everything he had done...he deserves it Zemo, he deserves to die!" You broke down underneath him. Tears were streaming.

You felt conflicted about what was right or what was wrong in this situation. You knew that you had to kill Erik, but Zemo tried to stop you and wouldn't let go of you. You didn't wanna use your powers on him and he had a hard grip around you, making it impossible for you to fight yourself out of his arms. Was Zemo worth risking, if it meant you had a chance at killing your own father? Being able to kill someone is very different from having to do it. Bucky's line kept on going on repeat. You could kill your father, but even in this state you struggled to fight Zemo. The ground started to shake, as you lost more and more control of your own sanity arguing with yourself.

"I know what you are doing y/n and it's not worth it" he yelled down at you. The waves you sent to the ground made it harder for him to talk you down, as the sound around you kept on going higher and higher.

"I have been in your shoes. You think killing Erik will justify your deeds, but it won't. You're not afraid to kill him, cause you know that means you go right with him." he yelled. You kept trying to punch him and kick him away from you, but he wasn't gonna let you go yet.

"When I was ready to end it, a very wise man stopped me and told me 'The living is not done with you yet' and I'm begging you to listen when I say that I am not ready to let you go yet, none of us are y/n" he yelled. He couldn't hold back his own emotions anymore. He knew he couldn't keep you like this for long, at some point one of you was gonna break. It was only a matter of time.

You heard every word he said and you took them to your heart, but you didn't listen. You were so determined on your own father, that you easily brushed away every single word he just had said. Being able to kill someone is very different from having to do it. But you were able to do it and you wanted to do it, so you only had to get Zemo away from you. You stared into his eyes one last time. You wanted to take in every detail, so you couldn't forget it. He was gonna look at you differently after this and you wanted to make sure you remembered his memory of you now.

"I am sorry. I have to do this," you whispered.

You laid a hand on his chest and altered the field, throwing him off you. You took in the view of the clear sky and altered yourself elegantly to stand up. You turned around to see your father still sitting by the tree. A smile curled up on your lips as you walked towards him.  He was almost out of breath. Bleeding from your punches, with pieces from the glass you threw him out of. It was a sight for sore eyes. You kneeled down, taking a good look at him.

"Who would've thought that your own kind, your one and only daughter would turn on the big ol'magneto" you whispered.

You let your fingers through his hair. Finally after everything he had done to you, the both of you could put it to bed and never look back at it. You had no idea what was waiting for you on the other side, neither did you care. Whatever was to come, was better than being here with him. You stood up.

Out of the blue, somebody came from the air.

"I can't let you do this to yourself," he said, throwing his wing at you, causing you to lose your balance and fall down.

"You will thank me later" Sam said, and before you could even do anything he knocked you out.