We're more alike than you think

105. Truth

"Maybe the media prepping wouldn't be that bad?" Matt said as you stormed into your own apartment.

Everything was a mess, all the things you and Zemo had ordered were slowly but surely coming and you hadn't had the time to unpack anything of it. You ran over to the whiskey and opened the bottle. The nice thing here would be to offer Matt a glass, but you were too mad about the conference to bother. You drank directly from the bottle, desperately trying to make it linger the emptiness you felt on the inside. Matt walked over to you and put the bottle away. You looked up at him in annoyance.

"They told me to lie and say me and Zemo weren't in a relationship," you hissed back at him, staring down at the bottle he still held in his hand.

"What's the difference, you told the whole world you weren't together anyway," He said back. He genuinely tried to understand where you came from, but nothing you said made sense. He knew better than most that relationships could be complicated especially for people like you, but at this point, Matt was even unsure if you knew what was going on in your life. It was clear in your tone that he had hit a nerve on you.

"We aren't!" You yelled in annoyance and stood up, walking to the middle of the room. Your body was getting tense.

"So why didn't you just say no to the journalist?" Matt said, turning to the side so you could face him.

Was it so difficult for people to understand you? Okay, yes you shouldn't have answered the journalist in the tone you had, but to your excuse, she shouldn't have been asking such private questions. The world had nothing to do with your love life, even if you were a public person. You bet that they wouldn't even ask a man those questions, not the same way at least. Still you were the person who came out as the 'bad guy' in this situation. It wasn't fair.

"Cause.. that's not right either!" you said, trying to calm yourself down as you looked out the window. Your hands went on your head in frustration. You took some deep breaths before you turned around, facing Matt who stood five meters away from you. You shook your head.

"I think I love... I think I love Zemo, okay? But Zemo and I had never had the privilege of talking about our.. our emotions or how we feel.. about each other, or if we are a thing or not. He is in goddamn prison, how could I fucking know? Tell me how the fuck you would answer that Matt!" You said, your voice getting higher and higher as you spoke. You let your hands fall down. There was no right way to answer it, and Matt knew that. You looked over at the mattresses on the floor.

"The man is not exactly the most popular guy either, people don't know him as I do. Answering that question honestly would open a whole new wormhole, and I can't risk that when I don't even know if Zemo... If Zemo likes me or.." You said, trying to find the right words, but Matt stopped you, letting you off the hook.

"It is fine, I understand," Matt said softly.

You probably didn't believe that he understood you, but he did. Matt had done his fair share of loving the so-called 'bad guy', and it was never easy. He may have moved on, but he never forgot about Elektra. The easiest way to describe their relationship was complicated. Matt had the privilege of being a secret, he could never imagine the pressure of having the whole world looking in at your relationship, judging you. Especially when it was so fresh and new.

"You will have the chance to talk in only two days. We will find a way to handle it in the future," he said under his breath. You looked up at him, your face slowly softening up. You had really appreciated having Matt around. He dared to question you, but also show respect and support when you needed it. You could lash out on him, and know that you were safe. He wouldn't judge you, but even more importantly, he was never afraid of you. You sat down on the mattress, leaning your back on the wall.

"I'm sorry I lifted my voice, I just... I feel a bit lost without him," you mumbled low. Matt nodded and slowly walked over as he sat down beside you.

"Thought we agreed that you were gonna stop saying sorry," he smiled weakly. You looked up at him and laughed low. Okay, the guy even got jokes.You smiled as you leaned your head against the wall.

"Two days you said?" you asked, looking to the side so you could see Matt's face. He turned his head so he was facing you as well. He smiled weakly and gave you a nod.

"Two days."