Turning Table

Part 4

Part 4

***We are our choices.***

🌹Rosetta🌹

It's another day and I think, it can’t get worse than this. You see Prisons are the temples where devils learn to prey. Every time they turn the key they twist the knife of fate because every time they cage a man they close him in with hate that manifests into deadly retaliation.

I'm free but I feel emotionally caged,
I’ve gotten as low as I could. But then the ground opens up again and swallows me further.
That busted put me there. He dug my grave, he buried me alive. He keeps throwing his bullshit at me. More lies, No truths! And worst he deceived me.

I’ve been screaming for a long time. I even found anger that I never knew I had. Anger that I learned from him,

FUCK I HATE HIM!!

" hi..." Her footsteps walk towards me,  Bloody hell, why is this bitch is still here?
Her: I made you breakfast "
I just laid on my bed facing the other side not responding to her, seconds later I heard her walking out.

As I lay and reflect on the way that life has turned out, it’s easy to see that where I am now, I never saw it coming, And I’m glad that I didn’t.
Knowing the pain that I had to go through to get here, I don’t know if I would have made the same choices. Retrospective knowledge may have saved me some pain indeed. Consequently, who knows what wasteland the world would be if I chose to spare myself heartbreak and tears.

God, I wish there is a testimony in these trials because the tribulation I endured was enough to sink me in hell!
I sit back and wonder, Why did I stat? Why did I make those choices? The fucked up Mistake I made was because I was afraid to be alone.
Waisted my mother's major I invested 4 years in college just because of a man!

Even the friend I had Were erased from my life because the man I married wanted no competition.

Every decision I made was because I was afraid that I didn’t have the strength to stand on my own two feet. Afraid that I was too irresponsible to take the lead on who I was to be.

Fear that no one would validate my existence or potential guided me.

So you want to know who I am, I'm your typical black girl my mother named me Rose Mdunge, born and raised in Bergvill,

My story is no different than any other village girl story, I was forced to study hard to improve the life of my family, raised by a single parent who made a living by cleaning other peoples houses, I was determined to do better than my mother, I finished Varsity and moved to Ngonyameni Village worked as Hotel Senior Manager in one of their five-star hotels,

Life was good, I was single and goal-focused, till I meet him ...

I felt a teardrop from my face,
I quickly wiped it off and jumped off my bed and made my way to the bathroom, I took a shower more like cried out loud as I set down rocking myself with my knees on my chest, as I allowed my tears to flow down on me.

After dressing up I found Ginger fixing her hair in the living room
Me: are you my roommate perhaps ?"
Her: No ...yesterday I could not go... I just wanted to make sure you ok ?"
Me: I'm ok ..."
She bites her lip looking at me, she must be recalling the mass she saw in my room

I took the pocket of cigarette  and stepped outside and started smoking

"I'm going out, do you need anything ?"
Me: I need your car "
Her: sure I won't take long "
I walked past her took her car keys from the coffee table
Me: call a cab "

I said walking to my room, last place I need to be is here, Johannesburg is no place for me, too many memories that turned my life upside down. I packed few clothes and my bag pack of money, I looked around and walked out.

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