Turning Table

Part 111

***Obsession ***

🌹Liyana 🌹

I watch him fix his karflings, he has not looked at me after our argument and has not spoken to me,  frankly, I don't know what to say to him as well that side of him scared the shit out of me,  I know Ntsika loves me but if love looks and feels like an obsession it can turn deadly.
Often, an obsessive person can become verbally or physically abusive and express great amounts of remorse afterward, yet they consistently blame their partner for bringing on the abuse themselves. Over time, they reduce their partner to a helpless, dependent individual that is a mere shell of the person they supposedly fell in love with. This is done in a subconscious attempt to maintain control over their partner
I have been through a lot to be another case of gender violence, it even worse because he's powerful and has all the money to make it look like it's all my fault.

I applied my lipstick on with my trembling hands looking at him through our mirror.
One thing that pisses me the most is how the fuck did Sam know about my pregnancy, even I only found out today too not even my best friend knows that I'm pregnant but now a guy who wanted to date knows? How?"

I look at Ntsika put on his blazer and he walks out, I held my face as tears were on the verge of falling but a light knock made me wipe them away,
" Mis Liyana...your majesty is waiting for you "
I nodd not even looking at her, I breathe out loud and looked at myself in the mirror, at least I was able to fix the makeup,

I looked at the ring and decided to just not wear it at all, I took my clutch bag and held my head up, and walked out,
I found Ntsika in his car, he was looking outside the window avoiding looking at me,
"Did you at least get a gift parcel for your mother since you decided to take it upon yourself to organize this diner meeting without acknowledging me first? "

He slowly turned and looked at my hands 
Him: you not wearing your ring? "
Me: I need your mother permission to be part of this family, I may be pregnant with your child but I'm still a commoner"
I said buckling up my seat belt
Him: how many times must I tell you to stop referring yourself to that"
Me: It is what it is...don't try to sugar coat it and don't take offense in that"
He opened his mouth to talk but quickly closed it
Him: this right here is just another way of showing me that you don't want to commit to me "
Me: I'm not from this place, I don't follow you and will not start now to put you on the pedestal just because you are king, you the man I am in love with and I respect, don't get it twisted and think by me being in your life I need to worship you and do every little thing you demand me to do!"

Him:Liyana drop the attitude cause it's pissing me off "
Me: crack it on the wall like you did to my phone since its pisses you off! "
I said looking at him
Him: you shouting at me"
Me: do you blame me? ... You said you will protect me, but what you did made me afraid of you! You did not talk to me you talk down on me, that is not the relationship I want for myself"
He breathes out loud
Him: ooh you want the relationship Samukelo is offering to you!"
He roard
Me:what the fuck does that supposed to mean? when I'm bloody with you!!!... i chose to be with you!...you talk about marriage and commitment but you don't know anything about relationships and commitments "
Him: ooh don't give me that crap you know that I love you...."
Me: and that is supposed to sum everything up, Ntsika Love is a feeling from the heart,  but your love is mixed with obsession and to me, that can be termed as a crazy feeling. Though love and obsession are related in some aspects, the two can never be thought to be the same.
Love is an uncontrollable feeling and a feeling which one has for another person. Love always means caring, support, and giving. But what I saw tonight was you having the crazy idea that you failed to think affectionately. What happened to communication? To trust?
I love you and truth be told I had a lot of men lined to be with me before you, some approached me as friends some just got to the point, if you love me you should trust me not doubt me,  I'm away from home, in a foreign land, I have no family and friends in this place, I'm not sure if I'm even allowed to work now because you decided that I must be yours only, I must be by your side all the time, that is not love more of you controlling me, and showing me how obsesses you are with me"

He looked at me for the longest time while I kept my gaze at him too,
Him: what now?"
Me: you apologize you arrogant prick"
He side smile

Him: that boy wants you"
Me: I know and I have told him that I chose you... "
Him: why is he still calling you?"
Me: just the very same way I found your sister and cousin in our muster bedroom, Ntsika what are you getting me into? "
Him: what? So you rather listen to a total stranger than me, damn it Liyana didn't I tell you about my family "
Me: your family I know...but what about your Uncles? The royal counsel? The extended family? What the fuck are you getting me into?"

He breathe out loud and ran his hands on his face
Him: don't worry about it" he said softly
Me: you toying with my life Bhengu... "
Him: Liya awume please "
Me: Ntsika you just meet my family we are screwed up! The last thing I need is to be called a gold digger "
Him: stop it Liya"
Me: I just don't get why you doing this!"
Him: here we go again "
I looked at him and frowned
Him: your insecurity are such a turn off "
I opened my mouth to talk but he just rolled his eyes

Him: I'm rich,  stinking filthy rich I'm king, powerful and have big companies all around south Africa I have few partners around the continent and planning to trade internationally... That is me Ntsika Bhengu on paper but you know Ntsika's insides  ...my heart, I gave it to you... But still...."
He sigh
Him: Liyana Sometimes we meet someone in our lives and it feels like we have known them forever. Like we were destined to meet. As if we knew along all of the twisting paths of time. You are that person for me, I know that the journey will be rough and tangle but I promise not to leave your side... Look at me"
I continued to fix my eyes outside
Him: Liyana... Look at me "
I slowly turned to look at him
Him: I'm sorry for being irrational earlier. I know I overreacted and you didn’t deserve to be treated the way I did. I admit that I was jealous, I was insecure and I was irrational in my acts. But all I ask for is that you forgive me as I promise to be more understanding and never doubt the sincerity of your love to me again "

I chewed my inner lip looking at him, he held my hand
Him: I know it hurts not to be trusted but I think it hurts more to see someone you love being hurt because of one’s insecurity. The truth is that I didn’t mean to say those words and in the actual sense of it, those words do not exist in my heart for you. You’re all that I have and you’re all that I want and I can’t imagine my life without you... Can we please move past this?"

Me: we running late "
Him: I love you "
Me: I am still mad "
He chuckled and started the car
Him: I need to have a word with Samukelo "
I turned to look at him
Him: I am territorial get used to it..."
He squeezed my thigh with his hand and we drove off,