Turning Table

Part 81

***The spirit finds a way to be born.
Instinct seeks for ways to survive.***

🌹Nompumelelo 🌹

Ever since the divorce, I had been struggling with self-harm and a whole host of mental health issues that were at the time nameless to me. I didn’t know what they were I just knew it felt like monsters came for me in the dark. I knew it felt like drowning, like rage. I knew it made me want to die.

I had never made a serious attempt on my life before but rather lingered on the edge of it. Each of these instances had something in common, a sense of deep, agonizing despair.

I looked at the cocaine sachet and I swallowed, as much as I had my days of being a heavy drinker, going through depression, being broke and stripped of my family and life, I have not once considered taking drugs, no doubt, the situation I'm in is forcing my will power and this white powder looks like an easy way out, but God forbid, I will not start today to self-harm and to be controlled by a substance or any human being. . . I'm Nompumelelo Msimangu I'm stupid... an idiot...a naive slut to be precise but I'm a survivor.

I stepped outside the balcony but the room I'm in was too high for me to jump, or better yet escape.

I'm scared of what awaits me downstairs but I knew my only way out of here was to kill myself or die killing someone,  hell will freeze over before I allow to be violated by any man, I am not a sex worker, yes I give sex for money but I have the choice to who I give it too!

I roughly wiped my tears, this shit has to stop now, these tears of fear won't allow me to achieves anything, but to share my misery with everyone else who will take that as a sign of weakness, I have been strong all of my life and I know for a fact that Feeling vulnerable It demonstrates the weakness of courage...

I'm pacing up and down in this big bedroom, you could swear that I did not receive a beating of my life a few hours ago the way I'm walking around in circles in this room, I start doing breathing exercises, stopping my heart from thumping.
" think Mpume... How the fuck are you going to get yourself out of this shit!"

I place my hands together as praying signed, fuck screw this, I started praying altogether, I make my way to the bathroom I look at myself in the mirror, now I realize that my beautiful face, body, and smooth skin are not only is my most prices gift but it also my downfall, you can just say it's a blessing and curse at the same time.

It finally come to me, Fuck with the bull, assholes, let me get the horns.
So the very same thing that got me in this pit will get me out, I have survived a whole lot shit in my life I'm not going to end my life without fighting for my life. I'm doing this for my children whom I need to build a relationship with if I survive here. This boils up to the fact that the strength of a mother is second to none. Even when she is in times of stress, when she is fighting her own demons, when she is beyond exhausted both mentally and physically nothing will stop her from finding her way back to her children.

I breathe out loud fixed my face, I look at the shaving razor and I  banged the shaving razor on the sink and took out the sharp razor and inserted it in my bra, I walked out fixing my hair in a mass burn, I looked at the cock screw on the side table I shoved it in my thick hair, I breathe out loud said a short prayer
" to kill or be killed No man will fuck me over!"

I said walking out, the first person who looked in my direction when I walked out was Ginger, I gave her a wide smile
Bitch I'm stronger than you think
She frowned looking at me,
It was not because I smiled at her but the amount of attention I drew my way, my heart skipped the bit when I realized how big and tall most of these men are, shit how am I going to pull this off?

" come let me introduce you to my brothers?" Oyama said holding my hand
Me: let go of my hand, I'm trying to get a good dick...I will find myself a broth to leave with tonight"
He looked at me with that look of what did you say,
But the bitch inside of me did not give a rat ass, scanning the room I wanted the weak link, fuck these gorillas look way too intimidating worst part their English sucks, I can barely understand half of the things they are saying, all I'm doing is smiling, drinking and dancing.

I feel like a piece of meat with all these eyes on me, well what do you expect from a bunch of guys hanging around half-naked women, alcohol, cigars, and cocaine,
I think the girls in here were about twenty if not fifteen in numbers and the man were just seven, hungry perverts treated us like pieces of meat.

Another Nigerian dance hall music started playing, just to prevent this Tony guy from finger fucking me, and grabbing me appropriately I stops up and danced with
Jimmy, he was tall and did not speak too much, I could almost have fallen asleep dancing with him, but when I felt his
hands slip down to my butt, that woke me up! Massaging
my ass he began talking in my ear asking me
"I need you to give me a private dance" At the same time he began pushing
his crotch into mine and there was no doubt that a hard
penis was grinding against me. . . I smiled...giggled I looked at Oyama and Ginger making out on the couch damn I felt used falsified, all along I thought he was my man but Ginger was the main chick,
I could not help but look at them, even when Ginger received a phone call, that left a huge frown crossed over her face, I looked at her as she whispered something in Oyama's ear and left the room with the phone in her ear,

What the fuck does she have a phone with her, while I'm kept with no means of communication or what's so ever in the house, fuck I need to make my move Now while the eagle is away... This is now or never my escape move! 

When the song ended I pulled Tim or Joe fuck whoever his name is outside
Him: where you too"
Me: "the jacuzzi"
He laughed
Him: I'm going to enjoy my night with you "
I giggled only reason I'm taking him outside is to see if I can run away from here or die trying...

He sat down on the outdoor couch and pulled me down into his
lap. Almost immediately he grabbed me and brought my
face to his. Soon his tongue was in my mouth. As our tongues played with each other his hands began to grope
my tits through my thin top. But I removed them and made him feel my ass, I had weapons that may slit my breast in there, Between kisses he kept
telling me what a cute little slut I was. I could hardly
control myself as anger and rage took over me,

As his hands slide between my thighs feeling my pussy, his mouth sucking my neck
Me: mmmm ooh baby..." I faked a moan, and took out the corkscrew from my hair, pooled out the screw from the handle with my teeth, as his fat finger started to finger me, I flinched, and that alone triggers something in me that I raised my hand and the screw punch through his vain, he tried fighting me pushing me off him, but something in me just said kill or be killed, I just keep jabbing him with the screw over and over and over again, as much as he screamed the music was too loud for any of the people inside to hear him,  his body was numb and I had blood all over me,

I pushed him off me and I held my mouth crying...
" you stupid bitch what have you done!... " a voice said coming my way... Fuck the guards!!! that did not cross my mind when I was killing this busted until a gun was pointed at my face. . .