Turning Table

Part 154

***Punished The Children for The Sin Of The Parents ****

Rosetta

Yelling driven by anger is shaming, As a mother, I know why parents yell at their kids, and why they feel guilty about it, looking at my son having shocked expression on his face made me want to say

"it's ok I'm not shouting at you but at what you did."

but is it ok though? Only if he would just listen to me for once, but no he thinks he knows better in a way that makes him know all. But what about my opinions, how do I feel? What do I mean to him, am I just seen as just dirt or just another pebble he walks over? With him feel as if I'm in a cage that holds me trapped in a cell of anger, fear, sadness, and depression. I have the hardest time getting out of this cage, but I can only hope that my voice is loud enough to set me free.

"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!? "

Words start vibrations in my brain, playing at different frequencies.
Each tone has its effect.

" YOU DID. WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!, AFTER I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE THAT MAN, YOU DILABARATLY DISOBEYED ME ZUKO!!!!!!!!!.... "

The bass blows through my anger and numbs my brain.
My body shakes at each word, spewing out of your mouth.
him: Rose .... Come down I can explain "
The tremble in his voice swims peacefully through my mind as he whispers sweet words to me.
My soul responds and relaxes my muscles. His facial expression alone tells me that he means every word,

Him: please I can explain ..." his voice like a soft lullaby floods my ears, smoothening my rage I hold on to the kitchen counter suppressing my trembling hands

him: please drink this "I look up and notice that he is handing me a glass of water.

Me: kodwa Zuko why? "I say feeling defeated my voice filled with so much sadness.

Him: I'm sorry, but I ..."

I just raised my hands, not willing to listen.

Him: I need you to calm down please, let's talk ... I need you to Talk to me, not at me please Mother"

my deepest fear has come to life, how do I handle this talk when I'm clearly not ready for it,

"What's wrong? I had yelling ... "Nicky said walking into the kitchen I look at her and back at Zuko but just decide to walk away wiping my tears and making my way to my bedroom, I curl myself in my bed and think of the conversation that Zuko and his father had what exactly transpired? but whenever my mind takes me there I feel a sharpened dagger stabbed into my heart, Ripping in two, ripping apart, It took only a few words, but his words cut me deep,
Stealing emotions, making me weak in the process, I cried my pillow wet and I don't even know when sleep came but I remember being woken up by shadow in my room, I pop my eyes open, that's what being in prison does to a person, you become a light slipper you can even hear a feather drop in your sleep,

It Zuko, his closing the blinds and turning the lights on,

I seat up straight,

"I'm sorry, did I wake you? "

I just shook my head no, and move my hair from my face, I notice a tray of food on my side table, it looks good and smelled good too.

Him: I brought you supper"

Me: Thank you "

I said jumping off the bed and making my way to the bathroom, I wash my face and gently wipe my face, when I made my way back to my bedroom, I find Zuko seating on the side chair and playing with his hands, our eyes locked and he starts biting his lip and gives me faint smile, while he runs his hand on his hair.