Turning Table

Part 140

***The Apple Does Not Fall Far From The Three****

🌹Liyana 🌹

" May we have a sit"
Him: I prefer to stand!"
I just blankly looked at him and folded my arms
Him'"...first you decided to leave home, no one knew where you were... Then you decided not to call or text, so you basically disowned your own family for a man?
... For this shit!... Cohabitating with a man... Not just any man that man... "
He said pointing at Ntsika's portrait on the wall

Me: I love him Mangalisa"
Me: Liya you think this is a fairy tale?  you are his Cinderella?...wake up Liyana his fuckin Royalty and shit like this does not...."
He bites his tongue shaking his head
Me: does not what? ..."
I said with my head tilted
Him: Li..."
Me: no say it! ...his Royalty and I'm just a pathetic common girl who does not deserve this bloody life, I'm supposed to be what? Drowning in debt supporting your mother and making sure I take care of the home while you live your stressed-free life in Cape Town "
Him: I did not say that "
Me: not In so many words but you have. .. With your actions..."
Him: Liya...
Me: shut the fuck up!...you know, you are your father, son, bailed on me and mom the minute you could not handle the pressure "
Him: don't you dare compare me to that man! "
Me: if the shoe fits brother!!!"

Him: I did not bail I got a new job..."
Me: ooh wow because paramedic jobs are only offered in Cape Town not in Durban right?....stop patronizing me Mangalisa you ran away and don't you dare come here and point fingers at me, this is my life my choice and you have no bloody say in it!"
He sigh and looked up
Him: Liya all I'm trying to do is protect you... This life is not a life baby sister "
I raised my hands telling him to stop,

Me: PROTECT ME! BROTHER PLEASE. . .you are decades late Mfethu...you know I can remember when you were a brother to me. We lived in the same house, ate the same food, loved the same mother. And so I thought it safe to call you brother. I don't suppose I brought you any great pleasure - after all, yet another little sister is probably the last thing an adolescent boy wants. Yet to me, you were something special. A big brother. A hero almost. And if sometimes, well most of the time if I'm honest, you were moody, sullen, but I accepted that. I thought that was just the way brothers were.

But after everything that happened to us,  You ran off before I could stand on my own two feet. I was just a teenager! with no Job, with no money, and you left me with a verbally, emotionally abusive mother who made my life miserable for years,  so fuckin blame me for running away from home, I guess I learn from the best right!!!!"

I felt my breath stop,  as I said that, my head felt dizzy, I closed my eyes and balanced in a chair
Him: Liyana are you ok? "
He said rushing to me, holding my shoulder
Me: I'm fine, I said dwindling my shoulders in voluntarily removing his hand from  my shoulder
Him: look I'm..."
Me: save it..."
I said moving away from him as I made my way to the big windows that overview the beautiful Valley of this majestic land

Me:did you ever feel  Guilty?"
Him:..."
Me: for living us behind?"
Him:..."
Me:before I left, I did...packed and unpacked my bags a thousand times before I could finally tell myself that I am not my mother’s keeper. It was an enormous and guilt-laden feeling that I went through every single day, throughout my teen years, to adulthood, our mother has been my main obligation, partly because she refuses to take responsibility for herself. I don't know when it started but somewhere along her life, our mother lost that quality. Instead of solving her own problems, or even making an attempt, she chose to manipulate me, she believed that all the shit that has happen in our family was my fault, And every time when anything good happens in my life, my mother complains. Mainly, she complains that nobody ever wants to help her and how I basically have all the luck. . .or means to do that, but why me? I'm not the only child Mangalisa...
So finally I'm taking my life back, I refuse to hold onto guilt that she won’t help herself when she can..."