Turning Table

Part 174

***Family Matters ***

[A Weeks Later]

🌹 Lethukuthula 🌹

I have pile of papers in front of me, some of them are invoices, schedules and may options to choose from, mind you we paid for an event planner to do all of this, but Veli is a bull when it comes to this, she will evolve you in your event that you're planning, you like it or don't , so here I am doing a lot of choice making, from theme , to food to deco to guest list.

I feel like I should be more excited about this since I am responsible for planning and organizing every detail of this event, but quite honestly, I have never been so stressed out, so nervous which as a result is making me too picky and indecisive. I feel like everybody expects me to have everything together, to have some kind of an idea of what this event should be like, but the idea of having to put together all these vendors/caterers together makes me have some anxiety attacks and breakdowns. I personally have so much more going on, like tracking Baba Mzi's where abouts, dealing with contractors that are busy rebuilding my grandfather's house, so I really, need a little bit of help, but what I get is people saying they want to help, and then nothing gets done, it's so frustrating I will find myself shouting " MUST I DO EVERTHING IN THIS HOUSE! "

I do not know where Mbali is, she does not even answer my calls, lord my sister is too relaxed, and on the other hand the faith my mother has on me scared the living hell out of me,

"I Trust you baby; you will make this event a success ... I am so proud at how you are handling all of this "she will say preventing me from venting, she has trusted me with this and that alone is driving me crazy as I fear to disappoint her.

I am and I have always been scared of my mother. She has always been commanding and way to directing when it comes to me

You see I am not the dominant one in my family. My younger sister is the dominant one. She leads the conversation we have. she commands, she asks, suggests. I have never done that or could do that. I have always been a quiet, womanly, soft, and kind child. . . But mostly, I have always been away from home; I have never experienced this sitting around and engaging with them.

I learned that from my mother. I am an older daughter, a role model figure but I have never been what she expected me to be.

So, she has always been to extra hard on me she took advantage of this and treat me dominantly. it is no secret that she has been detector in my life "I should do this in my life or do that "

Perhaps, I could have been the dominant one. Maybe I would not find this responsibility stressful and have major anxiety of disappointing May family. My Father died without him saying that his proud of me so more than anything else I want to make him proud.

I hear my phone ringing, but I could not find it, I jump off the bed and scream "where the fuck are you!" after furiously tossing everything aside looking for it, I finally find it and answer out of breath

"hello"

"Ms. Khumalo, I just called to say that the municipality has agreed to your request to exhume your father grave "

I smiled and punched the air

Me: ooh that is grate "

Her: so when can we start with the work "

Me: give me a day or two to get back to you ... thank you so much "

The caller agreed we did not talk much as I quickly dropped the call as I heard the door opening, Jisha walked in followed by Veli