***I believe that behind every closed door there is an open space***
🌹Nompumelelo🌹
I'm in a taxi the last ride I ever thought it will be in, I'm looking outside the window as I reminisce on my life, it not a life at all and I regret everything I have ever done, I'm left with should have, could have... Wish I had, but mostly I regret that why did I gamble with my happiness which makes my life.
I look at my life and I realize that it had been quite a journey, me and my life... We have been through it all...side-by-side. We have cried on our knees at 3 am, on the shower floor, we have laughed on mountain tops, and smiled at sunrises. My life and I, together, always, have been on quite the journey this past year.
From teen to mom to, wife to divorcee to slay queen to dust to nothing,
I have seen myself enter this year at what some might say was the highest any human could have ever been. I have watched myself fall, plummet even, to the very depths of despair.
I have seen myself have everything a women's heart ever wanted.
I have seen myself lose it all, slowly, suddenly, cruelly, repeatedly.
Right now I'm looking at my life ecstatically not sure if I should plan for the future.
I have seen myself feel each passing moment to be one moment too long-lived.
Through it all, side-by-side, I have learned some important lessons.
One of the most important lessons learned is that Some people create their own storms and then get mad when it rains... I'm standing in the storm drenching wet looking at those I once cared for and loved, leave their life to the fullest.
" ufunanj wena la!"
I looked at her she has not changed, still, full figure freckled face beautiful women, her eyes are burning with fire, as she slams the door behind her
Me: sawubona m..."
I do not finish my sentence as my cheek sting when her hand landed on my chubby cheeks, I close my eyes taking in the pain
Her: call me your mother again and you will see!! "
I swallowed looking at her
Me: I have nowhere to go "
Her: manje ngihlanganaphi lapho?... You made your bed so sleep on it "
Me: Mom, I am really sorry for everything. Please forgive me. . ."
Her: forgive you... Do you know the word Nompumelelo?
I just looked down,
Her: yazi wena'nja! You took all the light I had and stomped it out until there was barely a shadow left of who I once was. You broke my spirit and changed who I was as a person.
We never had a relationship mother-daughter relationship, what we had was sick, I stole you from the hospital bed forgot that your parent's DNA runs deep inside you, honestly speaking we lived a
twisted lie. You were my disease, one that only I could cure. You left me battling the symptoms that you gave me as though they were a gift.
Once someone has seen evil, that is a hard memory to erase. Every time you ignored me when I said ' Nompumelo umhlaba lo, wuthande uwihloniphe " I died a little inside realizing that you will never be my daughter based on your actions, Every time you treated me like I was dirt under your shoes, it crushed me. Every Every time you insulted me, it tore me apart. Every time you talked back shouted at me, You taught me what it was like to feel heartbreak.
You taught me that even when you feel like you are at your weakest point, you can go lower. I could never treat another human being how you treated me. Some days I am not sure I will ever recover from the things you did to me. It still hurts, all this time later, ungihlazile Nompumelelo and I never want to see you again "
She turned and walk away crying I looked at my surroundings I'm just a few blocks from my house, from a shelter, I need to sleep, maybe tomorrow I will face another day, but today I need a roof over my head
Me; Ma!"
She stopped
Me: please give me keys to my father's house"
She turned slowly and looked at me
Her: uyihlo!!...
I cut her off while she was talking,
Me: or do you want me to tell Baba maJozi about how you killed him and buried him inside his house "
She looked at me and I looked at her with tears running down my cheeks, I'm desperate now and all I know is to manipulate people
Me: please...." I bite my lower lip
"give me the keys "
She held her mouth crying and walled back inside the house I just bust out and cry holding my chest, I felt something hit me and I realize that its the house keys
Her: I hate you and I wish I never raised you, I wish you died at your birth, from this day onwards anginangane! "
She slammed the door and I just fall on my knees and cried.
YOU ARE READING
Turning Table
Mystery / ThrillerIt's funny because when you're a little kid, you are under the impression that you can just grow up and go about your life in the same way you always have. When you're a kid, you have this whole perception of who you are going to be. You are too you...
