Turning Table

Part 124

*** A dagger Through My Heart!***

🌹Lethukuthula 🌹

It was not what he said that got me frozen on the doorstep but how he said it, It's ringing like a siren and sticking in my head regardless of How hard I shake it off.

What the fuck does he mean that his child is dead?

I want to walk out of this house and kick myself so hard for being impatient with him, for not giving him a chance to explain worst for jumping to conclusions.

I want to say " Sorry " but it's slowly suffocating...
Now it's even hard to breathe, it's hard to move, it's hard to look him in the eye
Those words burn like hell. they're turning my world into ashes.
to tell you the truth. I hate any topic that has to do with death, the feeling of grieving, the crying the comforting, for me, it's just hard to be around people like that, but so much easier to push them away, but how can I do that to a man that I love?

I look up, his moving around the living room as if he's looking for something, he walked to the dining room and runs his hands on his head, I breathe out loud and slowly walked back inside the house,
I look at him click his tongue and walked to the bathroom

Me: Mlondi"
I say softly following him, but he does not respond but continues to walk inside, I found him searching the drawers and mumbling something  to himself, his removing everything inside, and doing it out of anger and rag
Me: babe "
Him:..."
Me: Mlondi!"
Him: Lethu...ku...thu...la!"
He said looking at me or should I say he shouted my name as if I was annoying him, which I was probably doing no doubt.

He fixed his eyes at me and there fell a stillness upon us.
Though loving him is hard and steep,
But neither the less my love for him still crowns me, I  look into his eyes and I realize sadness, which breaks my heart into million pieces too.

He walks towards me and gently ran his  hand on my face, making me look at him, he frowns and pulled me by my hand leading me inside the bathroom, with no words said he grab my waist and made me sit on top of  the sink counter,
Me: Mlondi"
Him: Lethu you bleeding...you have glass on your hair and face...fuck!"
I hold his hand for him to look at me
Him: damn it...you hurt..and I hurt you "
Me: Babe..."
He decided to ignore me and started  cleaning the glass on my face and hair
Me: ouch " I said as the sting of the disinfection spray hit my skin
Him:sorry "
I looked at him but he still looked sad or should I say conflicted, he start blowing his hot hair in my face while he works the cotton wool on my cheeks
Me: babe it's ok "
He fakes a chuckle
Him: this shit got to stop! "
Me: what?"
Him: I got two bullet wounds on my body, and you have shattered glass on your face "
Me: it's gangster love what do you expect ?"

I said looking at him, he bite his lip and side smile
Him: I'm sorry Lethu "
Me: I know "
Him: I'm sorry for...I should have told you but a lot happened in one go, I have fallen for you. I didn't think I would but I have and it's driving me crazy. It's driving me crazy because I don't think you feel the same. It drives me crazy that you're the only person who has ever made me feel scared of losing someone. It drives me crazy how my heart aches knowing you don't feel the same. . ."
Me: why would you say that?"
Him: every time we have an argument you are so quick to pack up and leave "

Me: anger drives me to leave "
Him: anger makes me want to kill you for ever thinking of leaving me "
He said looking at me with a straight face
Me: Mlondi how can I stay or try to make us work when you have so many secrets "
Him: why are we shifting from love to trust?"
I pushed his hand away from my face
Me: the two work hand in hand Mlondi! ...you kept a whole baby from me!"
Him: ooh now you shouting "
Me: Should I pretend that what happened a few hours ago did not hurt me "
Him: I'm sorry "
Me: for what?"
Him:Hhayi man!!! Lethu kanti what the fuck do you want me to say!?"
He clicked his tongue and looked away,