Turning Table

Part 32

***The pain of being treated like a mere object. And a sense that this pain would turn into pleasure***

🌹Liyana 🌹

I have been told how nice I am my entire life. This is usually a great compliment to me. I love it when people tell me I'm nice because I am nice. In fact, throughout my life, I've tried my best to be kind, caring, empathetic, and helpful to just about everyone I meet. These qualities are the bedrock on which much of my identity is based.

I have learned over the years though that "nice" is good, but "too nice" is not. "Too nice" is the person who doesn't like to ruffle feathers. "Too nice" is the person who is afraid to set boundaries. "Too nice" is the person who is afraid to say no. "Too nice" is the person who I used to be and still am,

When I reflect back on my life and my various relationships with men, with friends, with family, and even with some co-workers, I can now see how being "too nice" was my way of staying safe, of avoiding conflict, and of remaining emotionally intact.

In a matter of few hours, I was used and spit out like I did not matter by a man I'm so much attracted to as if that was not enough my roommate just decided to insult me in my house. 

I'm not sure if my humble carrying bubbly,  personally is a weakness that's why people take me for a bloody ride or what!

"Can you believe mon just push forward the funeral for tomorrow!"
LT said walking into her bedroom
I lifted my head from her bed and looked at her
Me: it's festive season LT...I don't see the reason why she must be stuck in a mattress for five to ten days"
Her: Liya in case you did not know we are African that is how we do our funerals, we are not Muslim having a funeral a day after a person passing!! "
Me: you exaggerating now... You know very well that I'm right, so out with it What really bugging you besides this? "

Her: urg forget it!"
She threw her hands in the air and stood by the window

I breathe out loud, I know she won't say a bloody word to me about why she is so upset so I decided to change the topic
Me: I'm thinking of kicking Mpume out "
Her: you still thinking?... Why usenzeni?"
She rolled her eyes. . .
Me: she is selfish and I can't stand narcissist ways!!... Urg fuck maybe I should be the one moving our since it her house after all"
She busts out and laughed,

so the thing is I don't HATE Mpume but I am beginning to strongly dislike her. I have had my share of living with shitty people my mother being one, But, my current situation takes the cake.

I have lived with Mpume for few weeks but I have had enough!
I hate that I'm such a sucker for carrying for people in need, I wanted to be a good Christian and help her through all her struggles but it has reached the point where now, I think she wants to be a human dumpster fire of bad decisions and fuck it I'm done

"So she is kicking you out?"
Me: no I'm moving out! "
Her: you paid 12 months for rent in advance Liyana really? you saving on this end yet you allow yourself to lose on the other, just kick her out!"
Me: she has nothing LT!!"
She just laughed and continued to look outside the window,
Her: she is a grown-ass woman... She will find the means to survive! "

Me: it's not that simple she has fraud case over he head and she is also blacklisted to work at any financial institutes, you heard her when she was crying about the bad choices she made izolo"

" she is not your problem! ... God why do you always do this to yourself "
I just held my face
Me: because Liya The world is pretty fucked up. Good people like me always get hurt when they try to help "

Her: and then go hurt other good people. It's will be the perfect circle of life"
Me: Lethu come on!  As funny as it may sound I kind of understand Mpume"
Her: ooh here we go again the pull and push stupid act!!"
Me: Lethu People don't automatically wake up with a mindset  to take advantage of other people ...Mpume is just going through a lot!.."
Her: ooh bloody hell what world do you live in? The Minute you allowed Mpume in your space you gave her the keys to getting comfortable enough to treat you anyhow she wants....she is not even paying rent! But she busy Eating your food, yet now treating you like shit..."
Me: can we drop this "

She walked towards me and stood in front of me
" Listen here, The only thing that going to suck is you finding out too late, that you have a snake in your house, a vicious predator. Mpume is  fighting with her demons and won't make it far in life trust me I know people like her, they drag the naive kind down with them,

As your friend please don't allow her to take your kindness for granted and knocking your shine. People can only take advantage of you as much as you let them. You do something for them once okay cool. They ask again and again then that's your part to see the same sequence and end it right then and there. . . The bitch got to go!!"

I breathe out loud and rolled over the bed picking up my cellphone that was ringing,
" hello"
" Liyana how are you "
I pop my eyes open and froze

Him: I'm sorry to call you like this but I just wanted to wish you Merry Christmas"
Me:... Who is this?"
He laughed " Oh shit...I'm sorry damn I forgot you don't have my number... It Sam...Samukelo "

I saw LT's face changing and looking at me,
Him: LIYANA are you still there ?"
Me: yah sure...wow thanks... Merry Christmas to you too "
He chuckled
Him: I was in the neighborhood and I was hoping I will see you"

I dropped my mouth open and LT was busy doing sign language asking me who am I speaking too but I was shocked to the point of my throat being dry.