Turning Table

Part 30

***Fear is the mind-killer***

🌹Rossetta🌹

It's Christmas Eve and my mother  has been blowing up my phone about me coming home for the holidays,
" Mom I can't, I have work "
Her; it's your first Christmas outside Rose and I told Zuko to visit as well "
I bite my lip thinking
Me: Ma I have work "
Her: Rose I thought jail will change you... But you still very much a self-centered being, my child when are you going to learn that family is the most important thing in this whole world...you have not made any effort in meeting your son,  is this still Oyama's doing or it's just plain  you
I sigh and looked down
Me: I will see what I can do "
Her: how about you make it happened"

She drops the call on my ear, damn it!
I stood by the window that overlooked the bar downstairs thinking,
no amount of access could make up for the fact that I abandoned my son, and I am really struggling to humble myself to face him, mostly it's fear of what will I say, how would he act? Is he too grown up to need a mother?
These lingering thoughts have made it harder for me to reach out to him with every day that goes by, I don't feel I'm a "proper" mum and feel misunderstood by many people. I bet Other mothers won't even  understand how I could possibly let my son go in the first place but at the time I was protecting him from  his father, later on, I was protecting him from me, now I just feel he better off not knowing that both of his parents exist..."

My office door buzzer went off, I press the intercom
Me: talk"
" we short stuff tonight I was thinking we close early it's Christmas Eve after all "
Me: ok "
I said without even opening the door,
" Rose are you ok?" Ginger asked but I just nodded stupid of me thinking that she can see me,
Me: sure, please call Samukelo for me "

She sighs and walked away, a few minutes later another buzzer, I opened the door and set down,
" you asked for me? "
Samukelo said walking in,
Me: my books don't add up, we banking way too much cash and with poker night about to happen I'm going to be in shit, we need another way to clean the money we getting from the car auction "
He bites his lip thinking

Him: I told you what we need to do"
Me: I'm not going to do what Oyama did to me to another innocent person !"
Him: we can't keep money in the office Rose it's dangerous and risky...look with the money you making you swimming with the sharks now, it's either eat or be eaten, integrity does not work in this line of business "

I looked down biting my nail,
Me: can't we invest in a bookkeeper we can trust "
Him: that too risky we talking about trusting another person with our money...you already have the cops in your tail questioning you about the new house and car you bought, it's not going to work "
Me: I ran out of option"
Him: I created an off sure account under your name, but if shit goes down I don't need you going to jail again, pin this on some bimbo...that is money hungry and dumb enough to sign and not ask anything, you know someone like Ginger?"
Me: I don't trust here...., How about one of the stripers ooh this new girl that bartending, "
Him: No!"
Me: what? "
Him: not Liya"
Me: Liya?"
Him: Liyana "

I raised my eyebrow looking at him,
Him: it's not what you think.. "
Me: enlighten me?"
He chuckled and ran his hand on his chin
Me: look she is a good girl, life might have thrown her in this pit of hell, but she does not belong here, and I can't allow you to make her our mule"
Me: this life ain't cut out for no one!"
Him: can we take her out of the equation, please"
Me: mmmm she has created a very soft place in your heart "
His eyes ran around the room while I side smile
Him: she is a young beautiful and smart girl, as much as I don't want to see her working in this place I can't up and ask you to fire her"
Me: I get you...I trust that you will find a person to get us out of this mass because I don't want SARS and the Hawks on my ass "
Him: just give me few days I will see what I can do"

Me: thank you...that will be all"
He nodded stood up and attempted to walk out, but stopped and looked at me
Him: can you please do me a favor?"
Me: why?"
Him: because you are my businesses partner and talks like this should happen between is from time to time "

I breathe out loud " I'm listening"
Me: I need R5k, ...give it to Liya...I mean Liyana she won't accept cash from me, but she will accept a bonus from you "
I laughed shaking my head, I picked up the phone

" call Liyana to my office "
I said to the bartender downstairs
Him: yes mam"
I dropped the call and looked at Samukelo
Me: you like her a lot so why don't you come up and tell her?"
Him: my hands are too dirty for a girl like her"
Me: I was a good girl once, innocent and naive, I married a man whose hands were not even visible due to the thick blood he had on them, I knew this about him but love made me see the good man within an evil man, few years of my marriage was the best years of my life I knew the real Oyama, not the Nigerian drug cartel,  if you treat her well she will only see the good human side of you, fuck her over not only will she see a demon in you, it will mean you created her to become bigger Simon then you... "

Him: aish I don't know "
I looked at my CCTV screen and saw Liyana standing outside my door,
Me: Focus on what you want to do, don't be scared to try stuff. You only live once. You gotta take risks at times... Now get out of here your girlfriend is here "

He side smiled and walked out, I looked at him talking to Liyana outside my door, Samkelo is kinda rough on the edges but with his tattoos, matchstick on the mouth, and that forever frown on his face, his just your typical thug, while Liyana looks like black Barbie she just gorgeous, and way too innocent.

" you asked to see me? "
I smiled looking at her,
Me: hi! Liyana... Please have a seat "
She set down I looked into her eyes and noticed that she has been crying
Me: you ok?"
Her: yes mam "
I breathe out loud, I gave her R5k cheque and told her to take few days off,  as in stay home the whole of December, 

" thank you so much "
Me: you welcome "
She stood up and stopped walking turned and looked at me
Her: Mis Rose has the floor manager post been filled?"
I  folded my arms and looked at her, if Samukelo did not show interest in this girl she would have been the right candidate that I would use, but now I can't help to have a soft spot for her too.
Me: No..."
Her: may I...."
Me: no! ... "
Her: what?"
Me: you are already working two jobs and the less I see of you in this club the better... This place is no place for a bright beautiful girl like you, get your paper pay off your debt, or whatever, and leave this place, do you hear me!"
He: yes mam "
She sounded disappointed but this is for her own good than mine.
Me: now go before it's get too late "She smiled and walked out,

I followed suit shortly after her,
I stopped by the security room I found Samukelo talking to the bouncer
Me: can I ask you a favor?"
Him: ooh crap I know I'm not going to like your favor"
Me: son you are my business, partner, and things like this I am going asked from time to time "
He chuckled shaking his head
Me: I will be gone for few days, I trust you know the ropes to run this place on your own "
Him: few days is how many days? "

I ignored him because I myself did not have an answer on how long I would stay at my mother's house, sooner or later I have to put fear aside and confront my son.
Me: I'm a phone call away should you need anything, happy holidays "
I said walking out, I made my way to my parking and froze as I saw a white rose on my windshield, I looked around with my heart thumping on my throat, only Oyama gave me black or white roses, that could mean one thing he is in town!.