Turning Table

Part 125

***A Leap Of Faith ****

🌹Liyana 🌹

It seems so simple and so easy, just love hard and it will all work out. Just give it your best. Just hold nothing back. Be brave. Be vulnerable. And everything will work out for you.

But you know that isn’t always the case sometimes. Because sometimes you can love someone with everything you have, and you can still get it wrong. Or in my case, I should say people surrounding my relationship are gunning for a failed relationship.

I breathe out loud as I wipe my face, Whoever said love would be easy is a fool. It's not easy, it's difficult, it's hard and scary, and makes you unsure of everything around you. But I suppose that's its beauty. Love has the capability to make us feel so much all at once.

Makhosi Mhlongo said a mouth full few minutes ago and I am scared to death! Yep, that's right. I'm scared. Scared this won't work, scared that this whole process might end up hurting me, but mostly I'm scared of losing Ntsika
The very idea makes me freeze in my tracks. Finding someone you connect with doesn't happen every day, 
The idea that there's a chance this process could all go wrong, that's scary. Scary as hell.

But on second thoughts, how much could go right?
I bite my lip thinking, I have filled my head with all the bad "what if" scenarios, but "what if" there are good outcomes, what if this works, what if my heart has this one right?

I toss the towel aside and hold into the rocking chair, looking at this beautiful unfinished nursery, and I wonder about which feeling should be more significant. The fear or the hope. But to my worst nightmare, Both emotions run so deep, so fast, so strong.

I stood there confused my dress is wet and in the midst of it all for the first time, I felt a sensation, a feeling like popcorn popping, a goldfish swimming around, or butterflies fluttering. I pop my eyes open and slowly moved my hand to my tummy,

"Oooh wow "

I smile but also wonder if these gentle taps or swishes in my belly are gas, my eyes get wider and wider as I realize that my baby...my baby is moving, I want to scream in excitement but suddenly it stops.

" let's get you out of these clothes"
He said walking into the room with my robe, 
He looked at my facial expression and, he frowned
Him: what's up with that look? "
Me: our baby just moved "
Him: WHAT???? WHEN???"

He said making his way to me, not giving me time to explain, his hands were already on my belly, his moving them around
Him: where did he kick? .... Ooh come on son kick for dady"
I laughed shaking my head,
Me: Ntsika stop you scarring him"
Him: you sure it was a kick not gas?"
I hit his shoulder and we both laughed,
Me: stop it!"
He kissed my lip and helped me take off my dress

The big elephant in the room slowly changed the color of our moods as he helped me put my robe on
Me: so is he still downstairs?"
Him: yeah...I think "
Me: what's the plan "
He chuckled and pinch my cheek,
Him: I do my part, you do your "
Me: Ntsika!"
He breathe out loud and looked at me,
Me:is it necessary for you to move back home?"
He nodded his head and sigh very loudly

Him; I moved away from home, because my family always judged me because of my condition, what kind of a king will I be when I'm stuck in a wheelchair? My Uncle will ask, at one point I even went as far as asking Mlondi to take the seat, but culture and rules were against me, so it was either my uncle or my mother, and my mother refused to give my birthright to anyone so she decided to become my legs ...my face and sometimes my voice "

He said walking past me, looking down with his hands shoved deep in his pocket
Me: that is the reason why you have undergone so many surgery's?"
Him: surgeries, physiotherapy, psychology,
...you name it, the goal was for me to walk, that's how far my family pushed me, ever since I came back, so I did all the things I refused I will never do, so they can get over the case that one day I may take my seat, but when the topic of arranged marriage was enforced to me, that was the last draw, I moved out from home, and I built this house because I wanted to leave my life, the way I wanted to"
Me: so that's why you pretended not to know how to walk"
He slowly turned and looked at me,
Him: technically I couldn't, I took ten steps and the pain will be unbearable up until you came along"
Me: I don't understand?"
Him: I don't know if I should call it a miracle or fate, but walking became possible with you "