Turning Table

Part 177

*** Dinning With Royalty ***

🌹Lethukuthula 🌹

I look at myself in the mirror and I hold my perfectly fitted dress that looks and feels expensive, it's short and reveals my massive tattoo on my thigh, I breathe out loud and look at how this makeup has transformed me into someone I cannot recognize.

I have a good sense of fashion style and definitely make an effort to maintain my appearance, but I don't like to wear a ton of makeup on a daily basis I prefer to use eyeliner and mascara and that's about it -- eye shadow if I have to look extra nice but this shit I have on my face is just way too much.

I sat down and thought about why would Mlondi doll me up like this. Do I look too basic for him, that he has to transform me to be something I'm not?

Part of my insecurity here is thinking if his Ex-baby mama was into this stuff wears a ton of makeup, fake eyelashes, has breast implants, has that "manicured" look with her nails always done, spends hours on her hair, etc. or could it be the fact that Mlondi, prefers his women to be like this?

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the effort that goes into this look, but it's SO not me. I don't like how it looks on me or how it feels. My last boyfriend hated it when I wore makeup and said I looked better without it, and I really enjoyed having my natural self appreciated.

This is probably a really stupid issue, but it's bugging me for some reason, because if my memory serves me right, I remember telling Mlondi that I prefer a more natural look, and he said I'm beautiful even without makeup, but his actions/responses clearly favor the made-up me. Is this something I should even waste time caring about or should I just appreciate the effort?

"Hay "I looked up and found him standing by the door

Me: how long have you been standing there? "

Him: Long enough to realize that you are not happy "

I looked down

Him: kwenzenjani you don't like the dress "

Me: the dress I like, it is what you did with my face and hair that I don't like "

Him: you look beautiful "

Me: yah sure "I said rolling my eyes and standing up

Him: Lethukuthula what's the problem now? ... I feel like everything I try to do for you is never good enough!"

Me: "Money spent, will never outvalue spent time "

Him: What the fuck is that supposed to mean? "

Me: Mlondi ever since I came back home you have not been present in this relationship as you were when we were in Eastern Cape, and you are busy hushing me up with all this shit! ... really Mlondi? The only thing money really buys? Is Space. A bigger house, a bigger car, a larger hotel room. First-class plane tickets. But it doesn't even buy comfort for me! "

Him: are we really doing this now? "

I turned my head to look at him, I did not say a word but just looked at him with disappointed eyes and I guess he picked up that cause he ran his hand through his hair and avoided eye contact with me

Me: I'm not happy with us, with this relationship but mostly with you... Mlondi I have money a lot of it, I'm not your pathetic girlfriend who will take anything you throw at her just because you have money to hush her up with ... But what I need is you goddamn it! "

Him: I'm here now Lethu!"

Me: you have a funny way of showing it "

Him: WHAT DO WANT ME TO DO CAUSE THE LORD KNOWS IM TRYING "he said shouting