Turning Table

Part 185

***Saying Goodbye to Dysfunctional Toxic Family ***

2 weeks later

🌹Liyana 🌹

They say that every "journey home" begins at home. The search to learn more about my mother's side of the family—who they were, where they came from, what happened to them, and why ...was process that was pretty daunting for me and Cici, we found ourselves in Kokstad a week ago where we discovered that our mothers were runaways, we do not have much information of why they ran away all the way from Kokstad to Durban, the village elder advised that our family were drifters never stayed in one place too long and the family itself did not get along. Another dead-end we had no choice but to come back home and regroup,

Cici was adamant in helping me even when I could see that she did not want anything that is associated with her mother or her mother's side of the family, I learned that she had a sister who worked in brothel downtown, and she pulled me by my ear telling me that her sister is no different than her mother and my mother combined, and If I want to have normal life I must never acknowledge her as family or relative, I didn't know why so much hate she felt for her family but finding out about what they put her trough was enough to make me feel disgusted of what kind a family I have. This journey of finding the missing branches in my family tree made me realize that my mother's side of the family is somehow cursed, I keep going down this rabbit hole of trying to figure out why my mother's marriage ended up the way they did? firstly I don't know anything about my mother nor do I know anything about her family and her parents. She never talked about them at all.

She just talks about how shitty her life was and how she didn't have a good life like others. And ironically enough since she had a bad childhood I thought she would want to change the generational timeline because it seems like every time in my family generation had two sets of shitty parents who created a child, then the child becomes a shitty adult, then marries a women/man, then the two newlyweds become two shitty people who decide to become parents and have kids. Then THOSE kids turn into shitty adults who marry and become shitty parents.... it just fucking cycle. It's like a generation curse. I'm pretty sure my entire generation didn't even want kids in the first place. I want to change this toxic curse of parents.

My mom had the choice to either continue the cycle or break it and be different, but she was just your typical self-absorbed narcissist, with an attitude of arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, with an excessive need for admiration, Lord, I hate her for putting me into this mas.

With all that was happening in my life I also had to deal with the drama my brothers came with.

"I still do not get why we have to pay damages for a woman who was impregnated already damaged " Mangalisa was not having none of this, anything that included my mother annoyed him, While Mzokhulayo hated that our family business was becoming a little bit out in the open especially with Cici and her husband involved and not forgetting the Mnguni's,

In the midst of it all Ntsika decided to call Makhosi Mhlongo again. He believed that there was another way we can do this without the family members involved, Mzokhulayo did not like that Ntsika is involving traditional healers to our family business,

"Do you have any better ideas Chief Ramabela , because all we have been doing is running around circles ever since you came around " Ntsika will attack back, my house was war room for the past few weeks, if it wasn't for Cici being the mediator, we would have not resolved the issue at hand, She took it upon herself to drag us all to consult with a Sangama, a strange thing to do since she a pastors wife.

After consulting with Makhosi Mhlongo, we all felt a dumbfounded because he just simplified the whole thing if only, we knew we wouldn't have gone through so much grate lengths, the men just simply said