Turning Table

Part 166

*** Family Dynamics ****

Liyana

Liyana Ramabele, daughter of Jongikhaya Ramabea and supposed daughter of Sithembiso Ziqubu I want to put that in writing, on my birth certificate, on my driver's license, on my medicine qualification. Everywhere my name is written down, I need it to be known that my mother lied to me for over three decades. I want it to be understood that I don't know who my father is, but I know about him.

I'm mad I know my mother has disliked me since childhood but it's so inhuman for her to keep this from me, to lie about my identity, who does that? Who lies to their kid for that long? Even when I would ask what I thought were stupid questions at the time like

"Why do I have a diastema, Mommy," or

"Baba, how come you and Ma don't get this dark in the summer."

Stupid, dumb, naive, kid questions. And then get stupid, dumb, manipulative, adult answers. Like "Your great grandfather had some diastema too" or "skin complexion skips generations, Liyana." Really? Skips generations, right? I punched the bed so hard with my fist, suppressing how much I wished to scream right now. I feel...I feel like I don't really know how to feel, or what to think, So I am of Royal blood! How on earth did The Table Turn so fast without any warning

The door to my bedroom cracked open and Ntsika walked in closing the door behind him

Him: hay"

Me: mmmm"

He came and set next to me on our bed, he took my hand and tangled his fingers through mine

Him: aren't you supposed to be packing?"

Me: I want to but I just can't, something inside me feels so much rage and confusion, all along I knew who I was but never thought who I may be"

Him: I'm just glad you have most of the question that were eating you up inside answered"

Me: because of you Nisika, because I met you, I fell in love with a royal man, and my identity was questioned from day one, what if my destiny was with another ordinary man Would the truth have come out? Will my mother ever have the guts to confess to me about my biological father?"

Him: there are two sides to the story Liyana "

Me: wow! so you think I'm a bad person for blaming my mother for hiding my identity? "

Him: Liyana you were conceived in a 'forbidden' relationship, an affair"

Me: wow Nstika are we really going there now?! "

Him: I just want to make you see the reason why your mother might have hidden the truth from you, firstly Your biological dad was in a relationship with your mum without him knowing she was already spoken for "

Me: and that supposed to make it right for her to lie to me for all these years? "

Him: I don't condone the lying, but I think Your mother may simply be protecting Baba Ziqubu in honor of his contribution to your upbringing, and no doubt that man loves you as his daughter and it destroyed him when he found out you were not his"

I looked down feeling a bit ashamed of how I was conceived

Him: babe...."

He held my hand tighter

Him: you are amazing "he said with an awe

Me: that is because you make me amazing even when I feel at my lowest "

He kissed the back of my hand and smiled

Him: You're the purest, most genuine thing that ever happened to me, so trust me when I say that all I see here is not rage or confusion, but more of fear because you've been pulled between curiosity after receiving the news about your biological father... You have tons of questions, I suspect – anything from: "Have I inherited my looks from him, or the color of my skin?" to "Does he also like this music or that food?"