Sick and Tired

Chapter 30

I don't own grey's or any of its characters

TW: ED, SH, suicidal

Meredith lays in her bed after her restraints are taken off. She lays curled up in a ball for a while. She feels extremely depressed and suicidal. The whole restraining her thing? Yeah that didn't work the way they wanted it to. She was starting to eat a little bit before but she stopped again when she was restrained. It was supposed to help her so she wouldn't exercise. Yes, she wasn't exercising but she was stuck in her mind and that is not a fun place to be at. Meredith Grey's head is one of the worst places to be.

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A few hours later a nurse comes in with her dinner. "Meredith, dinner."

"Don't care. I'm not eating." Those are the first words she's spoken in the past few days

"Excuse me? You are to eat all of this whether you like it or not. I'm starting your NG tube feed as well."

"You can say I ate but I'm not going to. I don't care if you tell Bailey and Dr Wyatt."

The nurse can see she is getting nowhere with this girl so she pages Bailey to come help her. Bailey arrives a few minutes later. "What's the problem?"

"Meredith is refusing to eat her dinner and is being extremely stubborn. I'm getting nowhere with her." The nurse tells Bailey.

"Is this true Meredith? You're refusing your dinner? That is not allowed Grey. I am happy to hear you are communicating again but I don't need you being stubborn and rude to the nurses. I am going to sit in her with you while you eat your dinner and you WILL eat your dinner. I'm not taking no for an answer.I'm not leaving until you eat."

"Guess you're going to be stuck in here for forever cause I'm not eating anything." Meredith narrows her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest. "Excuse me? What do you think you're doing??!! Stop that! I don't need that!" Meredith yells in response to the nurse connecting her feed bag to her ng tube.

"Meredith Grey! Stop this nonsense right now! You need to eat and you need those extra nutrients because you aren't getting anything in your system."

"Good. I don't need anything in me."

"Meredith. What is going on with you? Why are you going backwards? You were starting to eat again and now you're refusing all food again. I'm warning you now though. If you continue to refuse food we'll be increasing your daily feeds again. So you better start eating if you don't want that to happen." Bailey looks Meredith in the eyes to let her know she's serious.

"Can you just leave me alone? Can't you see that I don't want to eat? I hate my life, I hate myself. I don't care what happens to me anymore. Whatever happens, happens. I just don't care anymore Bailey."

Bailey was shocked when all of that came out of Meredith's mouth. She knew she was depressed and suicidal but she didn't know it had gotten this bad. She had a feeling Meredith won't be able to keep this up for long. She thinks Meredith is reaching her breaking point.

"Meredith, I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to be completely honest with me. Okay? Do you promise to be honest?" Meredith nods. "Are you feeling actively suicidal? Are you wanting to act on it?"

Meredith hesitates for a minute and then whispers yes.

Bailey pulls Meredith in for a hug. "Thank you for being honest with me sweetie. You're already here in psych but I'm going to assign someone to watch you at all times. Someone will always be in the room with you so you can't harm yourself."

"Okay" Meredith whispers

I hope you like it! Her breaking point is coming next!