Sick and Tired

Chapter 44

TW: ED, SH

Meredith is slowly improving. A month has gone past and she is putting on some much needed weight. She still has more she needs to gain to be at a healthy weight for her height.

Meredith wants to go home so badly. She begs to leave every chance she sees someone. But they always tell her to talk to her team or not yet.

Meredith is determined to get someone to discharge her. Meredith asks one of her nurses to page Derek.

Derek gets there a few minutes later. "Hey Mer, how are you doing? I miss you so much. I can't wait until you come home."

"I'm doing good! I miss you too! I want to come home and be with you. You should get them to discharge me so I can come home." Meredith said hoping he would agree with her. She's saying she feels good just to make him think she's doing better mentally than what she really feels. Nobody needs to know how she really feels.

"I'm sorry Mer. You're not ready to come home yet. You still have more of your recovery to work on here. Plus you have more weight you need to gain. You're not there yet."

"Please!!!! I can gain the rest at home! Please Derek!"

"I'm sorry Mer but no. It's not possible right now. As much as I wish you could come with me today it's not time yet."

Meredith says nothing. She decides she'll talk to Cristina next.

Derek's pager beeps. "Oh crap I have to go Mer. I got paged down to the pit. I love you!"

"Love you too." Meredith says. After he leaves she mutters to herself "I'd love you more if you'd let me leave this stupid hospital."

Meredith decides to start on the next part of her plan right away. She gets another nurse to page Cristina for her.

"Hey Mer! You doing okay?" Cristina asks.

"I'm great! So great that you should get them to discharge me now." Meredith said getting right to the point.

"Meredith... no"

"Why??!!"

"Because you're not ready to come home yet. You still have more that needs to be worked on here."

"I've done everything here. I'm good! I'm not going to starve myself anymore." Meredith said knowing deep down that was a lie. She just had to say it to get Cristina on her side.

Cristina eyed her. "See I don't know if I can trust you with that. I'm still worried you're going to slip up and stop eating when something upsets you."

"I won't! I'm fine!"

"I'm sorry Mer but no. You'll be able to leave when they say you're ready to leave."

"Pleaseeeee! You're my person! I'd do anything for you and I know you'd do the same!"

"Okay that's enough Mer. Yes, you are my person and I would do anything for you. But I'm not about to risk your health. I'm not risking your life by discharging you too early especially when you still have more weight to gain. I love you so much but you have to stay here where you are safe. And I can't believe you would use our friendship to risk your life! What if something happened to you and I let you be discharged?? Do you know how that would make me feel?? Do you know what could happen to you?? Do you??" Cristina lashes out at Meredith.

"Nothings going to happen to me! Like I said I am fine! I'm great!"

"You're fine. Okay. Sure. Like I don't hear that from you all the damn time. Maybe I should believe it this time. Meredith's fine everyone. This time is different. Don't worry everyone. Yeah right! Honestly you probably don't even want to get better. You just want us to discharge you so you can starve yourself and go back to your eating disorder cause clearly that's all you care about. Food is the only thing you care about anymore. That and your weight."

"I AM TRYING! ALL I DO IS TRY AND TRY AND I NEVER GET ANYWHERE. MAYBE A PART OF ME WANTS TO GET BETTER BUT I CAN'T DO THAT WHILE BEING LOCKED UP IN THE PSYCH WARD. EVERYONE IS JUST PRESSURING ME TO DO WHAT THEY WANT! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE MY LIFE! EVERYONE ELSE GETS TO BE FREE AND INSTEAD I'M HERE AGAINST MY WILL! I'M GOING HOME NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY! AND I'M GOING TO DO IT MY WAY!" Meredith yelled.

"What's doing it your way supposed to mean?"

"That's for me to know and for you maybe to find out." Meredith said all fake sweetly.

Cristina just leaves the room, frustrated and mad at Meredith.

Meredith is upset that so far both Derek and Cristina won't let her go home. She decides to get a nurse to page Bailey, not knowing that Derek is about to tell Bailey that Meredith was trying to convince him to let her go home and that Cristina just paged Bailey to tell her about Meredith trying to pressure her to discharge her.

The nurse tells Meredith that Bailey will be awhile. Bailey said that she was talking to someone and would be there after.

Meredith thinks to herself that Bailey better agree to discharge her. If not she's on the next part of her plan to get out of the hospital. And they won't like her version of "getting better".

Fifteen minutes later Bailey walks into Meredith's room and closes the door. Meredith can see that Bailey is in a mood.

"Hi Bailey! How's your day?" Meredith says faking being cheerful. After her fight with Cristina she is feeling all annoyed and grumpy but she fakes being happy to hopefully get her way.

"It was fine. Meredith what am I hearing from Derek and Cristina that you are trying to pressure them into letting you go home? You are not going anywhere until I say you can go home. You are not ready to go home yet! You need to get that through your head and stop asking! We will tell you when you are ready! And honestly Grey? I don't trust you being home yet especially hearing what Cristina told me.

Meredith decides that if Bailey won't let her go home she'll just fake it. She'll eat what she has to but she just doesn't care anymore.

"Fine. Please leave. I want to be alone."

"Meredith..."

"Please leave."

And with that Dr Bailey left the room.

I hope you liked! Special Thanks to HeiraelleO12greys f