Sick and Tired

Chapter 71

TW ED SH

Another week has passed and Meredith is not doing any better. She has been checking her weight on the scale every single day and each time sees a lower number. That gives her a brief moment of happiness but not for long. She knows she won't stop until she gets to her goal weight. At least she tells herself she'll stop once she gets to that weight.

Meredith can hear Derek making dinner downstairs and it's making her so anxious. All she can think about is how to get out of this meal.

"I can't do this." She says softly to herself. "I can't eat it. I just can't." Meredith feels her breathes getting quicker and quicker and needs to do something to get her anxieties to settle down. She gets out of bed and decides to not use her crutches. She walks over to the bathroom, putting her weight on it. It is a painful short walk.

"Oww, oww, oww" Meredith mutters to herself as she slowly makes her way to the bathroom. Meredith doesn't care about the pain she is experiencing. She knows it's what she deserves. She gets to the bathroom and proceeds to cut herself.

Derek finishes up in the kitchen and starts walking upstairs with his and Meredith's dinner. He enters the bedroom and sets the food down on the table. He notices that Meredith is not in the room but her crutches are still in the room and is confused.

After Meredith finish cutting herself she quickly cleans and bandages her new cuts. She starts walking towards the door with each step being insanely painful. "I...deserve...this...pain. Suck...it...up...Meredith." She tells herself. She opens the door and sees Derek in the room. She knows she is caught and that he will be upset.

Derek sees Meredith walking on her cast and immediately rushes over to her. "Meredith! What are you doing?! You cannot walk on your cast! You need to stay off of it!" He picks her up and brings her over to her chair at the table. "Does your foot hurt?" He asks.

"No, it's fine." She lies. Meredith eyes widen at the food on the table. She doesn't want anything to eat.

"Please don't do that again Meredith. By the way you see Callie next week." Derek puts her food on her plate and then serves himself. "I made your favorite tonight Mer." He starts to eat and notices she hasn't taken a bite yet. "Are you going to eat Meredith? Aren't you hungry?"

"Oh yeah. I'm just giving it a few minutes to cool down." She said, not looking him in the eyes.

"It's not very hot. You should be fine to eat it now." He says.

"Oh. Um okay." She scoops up a tiny amount onto her fork and slowly brings her fork up to her mouth and doesn't allow her lips or anything to touch the fork. As soon as she has food in her, Meredith feels extremely anxious. She really doesn't want to eat.

Derek's pager goes off. "Oh no, I'm sorry Meredith. I just got paged in for an emergency surgery. I'll be back as soon as I can! You enjoy the rest of your dinner okay?" He gives her a kiss and rushes out of the room with his food.

Meredith sighs when he leaves the room and knows she got out of eating anything. Once she is sure he has left, she goes downstairs without her crutches again with each step being more painful than the previous and throws all of her food down the garbage disposal.

She starts to walk back upstairs but all of a sudden starts to feel really dizzy. She leans against the wall trying to regain her balance. She's trying very hard not to pass out. Eventually the feeling passes and she slowly makes her way upstairs. She has to stop a few times along the way for more dizzy spells.

Meredith gets back to her room without passing out and crawls into her bed. All she wants to do is sleep. She knows she needs food but she can't bring herself to eat anything. She's too scared of the calories. A few minutes later she falls asleep.

Derek gets to the hospital and has to scrub into a surgery immediately. Luckily for him the surgery isn't long and he can get back home to Meredith quickly.

As he prepares to leave the hospital he runs into Arizona.

"Derek! Hi! How's Meredith?"

"Hey Arizona! She's doing okay, she was in a little bit of pain I could tell earlier although she wouldn't admit it. She was walking without her crutches."

"Wait without her crutches? But she still has her cast on??!!" Arizona says with her eyes widening in shock. "That's going to make her leg even worse. Have you talked to Callie?"

"No, it just happened before I came here and she said she wouldn't do it again. Plus she has her appointment with Callie early next week anyways." Derek said.

"Okay. I hope she doesn't do it again. How is her eating?"

"It seems fine! We were just sitting down to dinner when I got paged. I made her favorite tonight and so I'm sure she enjoyed that! She had to eat by herself tonight since I got paged here for an emergency surgery."

"You made her favorite? That's nice." Arizona doesn't believe that Meredith actually ate.

"Yeah she loves when I make this meal for her. But I need to get back to Mer now! I'll talk to you later!"

"Bye!" She says. Arizona is getting worried about Meredith but doesn't know what to do.

Derek arrived home shortly after and goes upstairs as soon as he gets home to he can see Meredith.

Meredith had just woken up from her nap fifteen minutes before Derek got home and was exercising in her room. She was walking around in her room in an attempt to burn more calories off. She heard Derek coming up the stairs so she quickly grabbed her crutches which were luckily near her and acted like she was just walking to the bathroom.

Derek opens the door and sees Meredith making her way with her crutches to the bathroom. He smiles when he sees that she's using the crutches. "Hey Mer! How was your dinner? So sorry I had to leave you alone for dinner."

"It was great! Thanks for making my favorite! And no worries! I know your patients need you." Meredith said. "I had a nice nap also tonight. Dr Bear was tired also."

"You're welcome! And that must have been nice!" Derek said, smiling at his girlfriend. "How's your leg. Any pain?"

"Nope! It doesn't hurt at all!" Meredith lied. Her leg was actually hurting her so much but she didn't want to say anything. Her leg was sending shooting pains up itself. She knew that wasn't good but she wanted to feel her pain to distract herself from everything else.

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