Sick and Tired

Chapter 95

TW ED

A few days later Meredith is feeling very anxious and full because of her completing her meals. She is trying to tell herself that it is good that she is doing this but it is just so hard. She wants the ng tube out of her nose. She presses the call button and a nurse comes in a moment later.

"Good afternoon Meredith. I was just about to come in here with your afternoon snack so that's good timing." She hands Meredith her snack and sits down in a chair. "What did you press the call button for?"

Meredith looks anxiously at the snack in front of her. "Um I just had a question for Dr Bailey."

The nurse nods. "After you finish your snack I can page her for you."

Meredith nods. She looks anxiously at the snack in front of her. "Could she come now? Im nervous about this snack." Even though she's completing meals they still terrify her and she needs tons of support to get through them still. But she is doing it and everyone is super proud of her.

The nurse thinks for a second. "You only have ten minutes left of your snack. There's not enough time for her to come sit with you."

"But I want Dr Bailey!" Meredith says loudly. "Please!"

The nurse tells her no again and to keep eating which gets Meredith very upset.

"I WANT DR BAILEY! PLEASE!" She yells starting to cry. She pushes the snack away from her in protest. "I'm not going to eat that if she doesn't come."

The nurse isn't happy with her but pages Dr Bailey anyways.

There is only 8 minutes left in Meredith's allotted snack time and unfortunately Dr Bailey doesn't come within that time period. The nurse takes the snack from Meredith and writes that she refused the snack in her chart. The nurse shakes her head and thinks about how well Meredith has been doing eating all of her meals except for this one.

Meredith is left in the room on her own for a few minutes. Dr Bailey arrives a few minutes later. "Sorry Meredith. I was with another patient. The nurse just told me you refused snack. Why did you do that Grey? You've been doing so well."

"I was really anxious and I was going to eat it when you came but time ran out and she took the snack away."

"You have to push yourself Meredith even when it's scary." Dr Bailey says.

"I know!!! I've been doing that!" Meredith says irritated.

"Shh, it's okay. I know you've been doing that. I know it's hard and you've been doing a great job. How about this? Can I go get you a snack and you can have a redo?" Bailey asks her intern.

Meredith thinks for a second and then nods.

"Okay. Be right back."

Dr Bailey leaves and comes back a few minutes later with the same snack in her hand. "Here you go Meredith. I know you can do it."

Meredith looks at the snack and feels super anxious. Her thoughts in her head are telling her she shouldn't eat it because she's too fat. And that she'll gain weight if she eats it.

After a few minutes of thinking these thoughts Meredith sighs and takes a bite of the snack. She keeps telling herself that she can do it.

Bailey can see by the look on Meredith's face that this is very hard for her. "You doing okay Meredith?"

"I feel so fat!" Meredith says crying. She forces herself to take another bite and cries as she chews.

"You're doing amazing sweetie. You're not fat. Not at all. You have to keep fighting and prove your eating disorder wrong."

"I just feel so bad about myself. I don't want to eat this. I want to get better so bad but it's so hard. And it's so much harder right now because I've been eating all of my meals. I just feel so full all of the time." Meredith says to Dr Bailey.

"I believe in you Meredith Grey! You're going to become so much stronger because of what you are going through. I know you're going to become an amazing surgeon. Just keep thinking of getting back to work and doing what you love again. I know that's what makes you happy so just keep that in your mind when it gets hard."

"I want to be happy." Meredith says softly. "I can do this." She bites off another bite and chews it slowly. She does this until she finishes the snack. "I did it!" Meredith says softly to Bailey giving her a shy smile.

"I'm so proud of you!" Dr Bailey gives her a hug and just feels so happy that her intern is finally getting better.

A week passes and Meredith keeps on finishing her meals. She keeps in mind what Derek and and Dr Bailey both have said to her and it motivates her to do well.

I hope you liked! I'm thinking maybe one or two more chapters! I have another story in mind that I'm going to start writing when this one finishes.