Sick and Tired

Chapter 93

TW ED SH

Later on that day Cristina comes in with a tray of food for Meredith.

"Hey Mer! I bribed a nurse to let me set with you during your dinner!" She sets the food down for Meredith and unrestrains her arms.

Meredith stares at the food. "I don't want it. I've eaten too much today."

"Meredith that's not true at all. You've only had a quarter from both your breakfast and lunch. That's not a lot at all."

"It's so much food! Plus I have this stupid feeding tube in me. I don't get why I need it." She whines.

"You need it also because you are very underweight. You need that extra amount of food. And you're not eating full meals yet anyway so it'll help you get some nutrients in you." Cristina explains.

"I don't want to eat!" She yells. She grabs something and throws it at the wall.

"Meredith! You cannot throw food. I know you're scared and anxious but you cannot do that. You need to eat."

"Sorry." She mutters.

"Apology accepted. Now what are you going to eat first? Because you are going to eat. So you have to pick something."

"Uhh I guess this." Meredith points to an object on her plate.

"Okay! Start with that then."

Meredith makes sure her napkin is on the right side of her plate and that her utensils are in the right place. Her eyes go wide all of a sudden.

"What is it?" Cristina asks.

"They gave me the bigger fork. I can't use the big one. I have to use the small one."

"Meredith. It's a fork."

"It matters what size it is. I need the small one. I can't eat otherwise." She crosses her arms over her chest.

Cristina knows Meredith won't budge so she walks to the door and sticks her head out into the doorway while still keeping an eye on Meredith. She sees a nurse and gets her attention. "Hi, would you mind grabbing Meredith one of the small forks? She refuses to eat otherwise." The nurse nods and goes to grab it. She comes back with it and gives it to Cristina.

Cristina gives the fork to Meredith who thanks her. She goes to grab the other fork but notices it's not there.  "Hey where's the bigger fork? I need that one back."

"I gave it to you." Meredith lies. She secretly hid it under her pillow so she could hurt herself later.

"No you didn't. Meredith I know you have it. You need to give it to me. I'm not playing any games with you." Cristina starts searching for it and when she doesn't see it she moves Meredith's blankets out of the way and then puts her hand under her pillow. She finds the fork and grabs hold of it. "Why did you hide this?"

"I dunno." Meredith says, looking away.

"Meredith."

"I don't know." She lies.

"Do you want me to get Dr Bailey?"

"No! Okay fine I'll tell you! I wanted to hurt myself! It's just too much food and it's scaring me."

"Thank you for telling me. But also Mer, you haven't eaten anything yet. So there's not much in you. You do need to start eating now."

Meredith doesn't say anything and just looks at the wall. She doesn't touch her food for the first five minutes.

"Meredith. You need to start eating. Please."

Meredith shakes her head no. "I don't want to. You can't make me." She's in a really stubborn mood right now.

"I'm going to page Dr Bailey if you don't start eating soon."

"Please don't!" Meredith says crying.

"Please eat then. Please Mer. Eat for me. I need you to get better. I need my person to be healthy and out of the hospital."

"You could discharge me and then I'll be out of the hospital." Meredith says hopefully.

Cristina laughs. "No. Not a chance."

Meredith pouts a little.

After a few more minutes she picks up her fork but just plays with her food and doesn't take a bite.

"Meredith please. I'm begging you. Just eat."

Meredith bursts into sobs. "I'm so fat! I don't need food! I ate some yesterday and today! That should be enough! Please! I can't eat anymore today!"

Cristina can tell Meredith is really struggling tonight. She is happy she ate a tiny bit during breakfast and dinner but wishes she would eat some of dinner as well.

"Okay. I'm going to have them do an extra feeding for your NG tube since you won't eat anything tonight."

"Nooooooo." She wails.

"Meredith you need nutrition in you. If you don't eat then you need to get it through your NG tube. I know you don't like it but it has to happen I'm sorry." Cristina takes her food away and gives it to someone and tells them that she needs an extra NG tube. The first bag just finished so she's going to set up the extra bag.

Meredith cries when Cristina brings it over to her and sets it up. "Cristina?" She whispers.

"Yeah?"

"Will you lay with me and Dr Bear?"

"Of course I will." She gets in the bed and comforts her crying person.

After a while Meredith falls asleep and Cristina gets out of the bed. She has to go see other patients now that Meredith has fallen asleep. Before she goes she remembers to restrain her arms. She hates doing it but knows it's for Meredith's own good.