Sick and Tired

Chapter 36

TW: ED, SH

A few more days have passed and Meredith is slowly getting better. Meredith really wants to get out of the hospital and go back to her normal life.

Her thoughts are still bad and she still thinks badly about her body but that'll take a long time to get rid of. Meredith fell asleep after her dinner after having another meltdown. She was sobbing and scared because she managed to eat half of her lunch and that really scared her.

Meredith woke up from her nap and she wished she could go back to sleep. She doesn't like being awake where all she is able to do is think about her body and how much she hates it. Especially because she's eating more.

Meredith closed her eyes and tried to allow her body to fall back asleep and after a little while was able to fall back asleep. It's easier to sleep than to think about anything else.

Meredith was so tired and done with this day that when the nurse came in to bring her evening snack she just refused to wake up for it. She just kept her eyes closed and pretended to sleep until the nurse finally left. She knows the nurse will tell her team that she's being uncooperative but right now she doesn't care.

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The next morning Bailey came into her room to do her vitals. She has to get them done each morning and night but her weight is only each morning.

"Mer, time to go get weighed." Bailey said pushing the wheelchair into the room.

"No, I wanna sleep."

"Meredith I need to get your weight. You know we have to keep track of it and weigh you each morning. You keep continuing to amaze me by working hard each day, eating more and more. Once you get to a healthy weight and are doing better mentally you'll be discharged. But in order to do that I need to get your weight."

"STOP SAYING THAT I'M EATING MORE! I ALREADY KNOW I'M FAT! YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE IT HARDER ON ME! I DON'T WANT MY WEIGHT TO GO UP! LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT MY WEIGHT AND HOW MUCH I'M EATING! I ALREADY KNOW I'M A PIG!" Meredith then rolled over onto her side, facing away from Bailey. She has tears rolling down her face.

"Meredith, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it bothered you this much. I really am. I won't mention those subjects to you again I promise. But Mer, you're not a pig. You are working your way up to eating a normal amount of food. That's not a bad thing." Bailey apologized.

"I do want to warn you though that once you're eating all of your current meal plan it'll most likely be increasing. We need to see what your weight does once you are eating this amount. Most likely it'll be increased but we'll deal with that when it happens. I'll take the NG tube out once you are completing your meals." Bailey told her intern.

"Can you take it out now please?" Meredith asked.

"No Meredith."

"Why?" Meredith whined.

"Once you can prove to us that you will constantly finish all parts of your meals then we will take it out. Deal?"

"I guess."

"Okay then. Let's go weigh now."

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Later on in the day, Cristina met Meredith in her room for her meals. She was there to encourage her person.

Despite not wanting to eat because of everyone mentioning how much she was able to eat she still managed to eat half of her dinner. She became even more quiet than usual after she finished eating because she just felt so guilty about eating.

Meredith decided to see if Cristina would take her outside. She needed to get out of this room.

"Cris?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you take me outside please? We can sit outside or walk around?" Meredith knew she'd say no to the walking around but she still figured she'd try.

"I'm sorry Mer, but because you're in psych you're not allowed to leave your room/this floor. And besides you're not allowed to do any kind of exercise as your weight is still super low. Do you want to do something else here? We can watch a movie or Netflix if you want."

"Fine I guess so." Meredith said all annoyed. "I get to pick then."

"Sure, what would you like to watch?"

"Umm can we watch a Patrick Dempsey movie? He really looks like Derek. It's so weird. It's like their twins or something."

"I don't know if I can handle more than one McDreamy Mer. But yeah let's watch that!"

I hope you liked. I feel like it went all over the place oops. Let me know if you have any suggestions