Sick and Tired

Chapter 41

TW: ED, SH

Later on Meredith hears the nurse coming down the hallway and really hopes she's not coming to her room. It's about lunch time so Meredith is starting to get really anxious.

Unfortunately the nurse does stop outside of her room. She grabs the tray off of the cart and brings it over to Meredith. "Lunchtime Meredith."

"Oh, Um Cristina was going to come and eat with me. You can go do whatever you need to do. I know you must be super busy. I know I would be if I was working right now." Meredith said lying. She hopes the nurse hadn't been told that Meredith's meals with her friends had been stopped.

"Dr Bailey specifically told me that I needed to stay with you while you eat your lunch. I'm not to go anywhere while you're eating. She also told me it will only be nurses eating with you from now on. I'm sorry if no one was able to inform you." The nurse told Meredith, believing that Meredith didn't know about the new meal rules.

"Oh well thanks for telling me." Meredith said. She didn't want it to get back to Bailey that she was trying to trick the nurses again.

Meredith looked down at her lunch and made a face. The only thing going through her head right now was that she didn't want to eat this and that she couldn't do it without Cristina.

By the time lunch was over Meredith had only managed to eat a quarter of her lunch. The nurse collected the tray and sighed when she saw Meredith hadn't eaten much.

After the nurse left Meredith got out of bed and started exercising in her room only to get caught by another nurse a little bit later. The nurse had heard Meredith's heart rate monitor go off and walked in and saw her exercising. "Meredith you're supposed to be in bed."

"Sorry." Meredith said not really sorry in the slightest. She just felt super guilty after eating without anyone with her to encourage her or to make her feel better about eating. She didn't believe she should eat at all.

Over the next two days Meredith continued to only eat about a quarter of the amount from each meal. At this point she's not thinking about any of the consequences that could happen. She just can't handle eating by herself.

On the second day of her eating with just a nurse in the room, Bailey came in after afternoon snack.

"Meredith, we need to talk."

"Hi Bailey." Meredith said. "Did you get any good cases today." Meredith is trying to distract Bailey because she has a feeling she's in trouble.

"Grey, we're not talking about that. So I've heard from the nurses that they've started to catch you exercising again. And you've barely been eating these past two days. We have to get your weight up Meredith. We are no where near where it needs to be. We haven't even really started yet. You're still really underweight. But do you remember what I told you would happen if you didn't eat all of your meals?"

Meredith stayed silent, not wanting to answer.

"Grey, I need an answer. What did I say would happen if you didn't eat?"

"That I would get tube fed again." Meredith whispered.

"Exactly." Bailey said.

"Bailey please don't, I promise I'll eat. Please Bailey. I'm begging you."

"I'm not arguing with you on this Meredith."

Meredith is starting to cry and looks really scared at the fact that Bailey wants to put the tube back in her. "I don't want it."

"Meredith, you need it."

"PLEASE." Meredith wailed. "Please don't make me. I'll eat. I promise."

"Fine Grey. This is your last warning. If you don't eat 100% of your meals from this point forward, I WILL tube feed you. Don't think I'm playing around. I'll do it." And with that Bailey left Meredith alone in her room.

Two hours later a nurse brought Meredith's dinner for her. Meredith managed to finish her dinner but it was extremely hard for her and she was crying the entire time. She just felt so scared of the calories she was consuming. She didn't want them in her. But at the same time she knows she has to otherwise she'd get tube fed again.

Although Meredith is feeling scared she is also feeling a little proud of herself that she managed to eat the whole meal alone, well with a nurse but the nurse just sits there and doesn't say a word to her.

Before the nurse leaves the room Meredith asks the nurse if she can call Cristina. The nurse agrees and gets a wheelchair for her. She pushes her over to the nurses station and allows her to use the phone there.

Meredith dials Cristina's number but the phone just rings and rings finally going to Cristina's voicemail.

"Hi, you've reached Cristina Yang. I'm not sorry that I can't come to the phone right now. I'm probably scrubbing in on a really cool cardiothoracic case right now. So leave a voicemail or not I don't care and maybe I'll call you back."

After the beep, Meredith said sobbing, "I was going to tell you I ate 100% but I guess you don't care about me anymore."

She slams the phone down and before a nurse can start to push her back to her room she stands up from the wheelchair and sprints away. The nurse chases after her, trying to get her and eventually is able to grab her when Meredith collapses on the floor. The nurse brings her back to her room and settles her back in her bed. She reattaches Meredith to all her monitors. She inserts an IV into Meredith's vein and hooks up a bag of saline to it. She gets a few of those a day to hydrate her but this is an additional one since she collapsed.

Meredith wakes up a few minutes later and remembers what just happened. She thinks to herself that Cristina doesn't like or care about her anymore which causes her to start sobbing again. The nurse is trying to calm her down but it's not working. Meredith is now starting to hyperventilate as she's getting extremely worked up so the nurse decides to sedate her so she won't hurt herself. Once she is injected with that Meredith's eyes slowly start to close and she goes silent.

Before she fell asleep Meredith thought to herself that she will just be completing her meals so she won't have to get tube fed again.

Meredith's night ended up going the complete opposite of what she thought was going to happen. She was proud of herself and kind of excited that she did it but now she's just upset and isn't proud or excited anymore.

I hope you liked it!