Sick and Tired

Chapter 17

I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of its characters

TW: ED, SH, SUICIDAL

After Meredith pulled the NG tube out Bailey proceeds to scold her intern. "Meredith Grey! How dare you pull that out! You were not to touch that! That is there for your own good! I know you hate it but it has to stay."

"Don't think I'm not giving you another. I'll be right back. I'm going to go get supplies and then that's going back in!" Bailey said glaring at Meredith. She hates the fact that Meredith deliberately disobeyed her and pulled the tube out. She turned and started walking out of the room. When she got to the door she stopped and turned to face Meredith. "Oh and Grey, if you pull this next tube out don't think I won't call psych. I will do it in a heartbeat." And with that she left the room.

Meredith started to cry. She didn't want another tube. She doesn't want to go to psych but she also doesn't want all of the calories from the NG tube. She is starting to freak out. She is feeling the urge to hurt herself.

Meredith started to look around the room for a sharp object. She spied a picture frame that Derek brought in for her of them. She got out of bed and closed the door to her room. She grabbed the picture frame and smashed the glass.

She grabbed a shard of it and hid the rest quickly. She went into her bathroom and closed the door. She then made six cuts on her wrist and then decided to do more cuts on her thigh as well. After making a bunch of cuts she let out a sigh of relief. She hid the glass in her bathroom so she could use it later if she needed. She started to clean up her cute. She starts to panic because she doesn't have anything to cover up her wrist with. She'll just keep her arms under the blankets at all times she decides. Her cuts on her thighs are covered by her hospital gown. She then hears the door to her room open.

"Why is this door open? Why are you in the bathroom? You know you're not supposed to be in there unattended. I'm coming in." Bailey opens the door and sees her. "Come on, back to your bed. We need to put your NG tube back in."

"We really don't have to." Meredith says. She gets in her bed and puts her blankets over her arms.

"Meredith. You know we have to. Your weight is still going down."

"Good."

At that moment a nurse comes in to assist Bailey. The nurse goes over to Meredith and puts her hands on her to hold her down. She knows Meredith will put up a fight so she doesn't have a choice.

Bailey has all of the supplies she needs and because the nurse has a good grip on Meredith, is able to get the NG tube in.

Meredith is crying and forgets she is supposed to be hiding her wrist. She puts her hand to her face to pull out the tube but Bailey grabs her hand before she is able to do so. "If you pull that out I'm calling psych." She then notices brand new cuts on Meredith's wrist. A few have  started to bleed again.

"Meredith did you cut yourself? How did you get a sharp?" Bailey gets the nurse to bring her supplies to clean up the cuts.

Bailey wants to know why Meredith cut herself and proceeds to ask her.

"Because I hate myself! That's why! I don't want to be here! Everything is so hard! It would be so much easier for myself and for everyone else if I wasn't here anymore! I don't want to be here anymore!" Meredith is sobbing and becoming hysterical. "Bailey I don't want to live anymore ok? Just let me go! I want to die!"

Bailey tries to comfort Meredith but nothing works. She decides the best option is to sedate Meredith. She asks the nurse to bring something in to sedate her with.

Meredith is sobbing really loudly and keeps repeating how she doesn't want to live anymore. "I want to die. Please let me!"

The nurse comes back in with the needle to sedate Meredith with. Bailey takes it and injects it into Meredith. She instantly calms down and falls asleep.

Bailey decides to sit in the chair next to Meredith's bed. She has a few tears run down her face. She hates that Meredith hates herself this much.

After a little while she decides to go and find Derek. She finds him and updates him on Meredith's condition. She also tells him that she doesn't care that Meredith said he wasn't allowed in her room. She says Meredith needs him and she is overriding Meredith and he is now allowed to visit her.

Let me know what I should do next!