Sick and Tired

Chapter 49

TW: ED, SH

It is now a month later and Meredith is finally getting discharged. Dr Wyatt is due to come by Meredith's room any minute to discuss discharge plans.

Meredith is bouncing up and down in excitement. "Dr Bear are you excited to go home? I can't wait for you to see your home! You're going to love it!" She gave Dr Bear a big hug, squeezing him to her chest in happiness. "Derek is coming soon to pick us up so you'll get to go on your first car ride - omg no! It'll be your second one! Well last time you were in a box! You can look out the window this time!"

Dr Wyatt knocked on the door and came into the room. " Hi Meredith! How are we doing today? All ready to go home?"

"Hi!! I'm ready! Dr Bear is so excited to go home too!"

"That's awesome Meredith! We just need to go over some discharge plans and then you'll be all set to leave once Derek arrives! Just a reminder, you will have therapy with me once a week. It'll be a lot less therapy than you've had throughout your stay here but you'll get used to it. Make sure you stick to your meal plan. I have a copy of it here. Do you want me to give it to Derek?" Dr Wyatt said holding onto a piece of paper.

"No I can hold onto it! I want to show Dr Bear anyways." Meredith also didn't want Derek seeing how much she has to eat. She doesn't want him to think that she eats too much. Plus she liked being in control of it anyways. She still wants some form of control over her food.

"Okay. Here you go." Dr Wyatt hands her the piece of paper which Meredith immediately stuffs into the side of her bag. Dr Wyatt also noticed that Meredith seemed to be talking to her bear a lot. She decides to not question her on the childish behavior at the moment. She figures it's just some form of coping mechanism for her at the moment. "Did Derek get you that bear?"

"Dr Bear! His name is Dr Bear!" Meredith made sure Dr Wyatt made sure to call the bear by its correct name.

"My bad Meredith. Did Derek give you Dr Bear?"

"He did! And I love him so much! Look!" Meredith squeezed the bear's paw and played the recording.

"So cool Meredith. Oh and Meredith? Absolutely no exercise. I mean it. You are at a healthy weight and I don't want anything to hinder your progress."

Meredith didn't like Dr Wyatt telling her that she's not allowed to exercise. She scowled when she heard that. She also didn't like being reminded of the fact that she was at a healthy weight.

"Okay Meredith! I'll see you for our appointment later on this week! Have a good rest of your day! And remember you can do this!"

"Thanks" Meredith said softly, feeling awkward at the praises given her way.

Dr Wyatt left the room and Meredith was alone for a few minutes. Derek arrived with a wheelchair a few minutes after Dr Wyatt left.

"Derek!" Meredith squealed when she saw him. "Can we go now? Me and Dr Bear wanna go home! It's gonna be his first car ride where he can look out the window!"

"Hey Mer, hey Dr Bear." Meredith had made sure he said hi to Dr Bear awhile ago whenever he came in the room so Derek just went along with it. He wasn't sure why she cared if he said hi to the bear or not but he decided just to go along with it. "Ready to go?" He got an enthusiastic yes from her. He helped her into the wheelchair despite her protests of being able to walk. He grabbed her bag and they left the room.

"Mer we're going to make a slight detour before we head to the car."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see!" Derek wheeled her chair over to the elevator and he pushed the floor button for the surgical wing. They got to the floor and they got out of the elevator. He wheeled her over to the conference room and opened the door.

"SURPRISE!" All of their friends yelled. Arizona, Callie, Jackson, April, George, Addison, Richard, Amelia, Alex, and Izzie were all there.

Meredith knew Cristina wouldn't be there but it still didn't stop her from looking for her. When she didn't see her she let a tear slip down her face. She quickly wiped it away so no one would see.

"Dr Bailey got pulled into a last minute surgery. She really wanted to come." Arizona told them.

Meredith didn't believe that. She just thought that Bailey was avoiding her just like Cristina. She thinks in her head that Bailey doesn't like her anymore either. "They don't like me anymore." She said softly under her breath. She wants to cry but doesn't want to do it in front of everyone.

Derek kneels down in front of Meredith. "Are you surprised? Look at all the people who care about you!" He's trying to make her feel better because of the whole Cristina situation.

"But Bailey doesn't care about me. She's not here." She whispered.

"Sweetie, Arizona said she got pulled into a surgery. She would've come if she was able to."

All of a sudden Meredith happened to look at the open door and sees Cristina walking past. Cristina looked inside the room and saw Meredith but didn't go inside the room to say hi. Meredith saw that which made her start crying. "I want to go home."

"We just got here Mer. Don't you want to see your friends who you haven't seen in a long time?"

"No." Meredith just thinks of the fact that she wants to cut herself.

"It's okay Derek. Take her home. Get her settled. It's been a long few months for her." Addison said to Derek.

"I wanna go home NOW!" Meredith said, getting more and more agitated. She knows this feeling won't go away until she can cut herself. She needs to feel some form of relief.

"Okay, okay let's go." Derek says bye to their friends and wheels her out to her car. They pass Cristina again. "Hi Cristina. Why don't you like me anymore? I need you." Meredith says, taking the opportunity to talk to Cristina but it's useless as Cristina ignores her and continues walking. That sets Meredith off more and she starts to sob.

"Shh it's okay. It's okay." Derek said, trying to soothe his girlfriend. He is pissed at Cristina for making Meredith feel this way.

Meredith just sobs and continues hugging her bear. Derek helps her into the car and she stares out the window during the entire car ride home.

They get home and Meredith runs inside with her bear. She goes into their room and locks the door. She brings her bear with her into the bathroom and locates her hidden razors. She proceeds to make three cuts on her thigh. She sighs at the relief she feels. After she cleans herself up she goes and lies in her bed with Dr Bear. "Welcome home Dr Bear." She whispers as she silently cries herself to sleep.